Tuesday, June 07, 2005

At last! A Long-Held Suspicion, Confirmed!

[Warning: Profanity ahead]

I've always found something a bit "off" about Barbara Walters, something I couldn't quite put my finger on, that made me not like her all that much. I was never sure if it was her interviewing style, or her views, or the way she cocks her head and purses her lips. But then today I'm reading Kevin Drum and I get hit smack in the face with the answer to my long-standing question about why I don't like Barbara Walters, and that answer is simply this:

Barbara Walters is a fucking moron.

Ms. Walters, who remarked a few weeks ago on the show that the sight of a woman breast-feeding on an airplane next to her had made her uncomfortable, said through a spokesman that "it was a particular circumstance and we are surprised that it warrants a protest."

I can't tell you all how much this pisses me off. It's a baby eating in the way that the fucking human body evolved to do, and it's frankly one of the most beautiful things about our sorry species. But no, we live in a country that has managed to convince itself over the centuries that seeing a female breast too many times (never mind the fact that little of the breast is, in fact, visible at all when a woman is nursing, unless she is literally nursing topless) can drive innocent children to early drinking and grown men to murder and gambling and women to prostitution and the general decay of all that is Good and Noble.

You know what I do when I see a woman nursing? I congratulate her. Breastfeeding is a commitment to one's child that is made all to infrequently these days, and for Barbara Walters to go on TV and air her stupid, arrogant, Puritan bullshit is simply beyond the pale. But hey, I suppose it's a good thing we invented formula, because now we don't have to keep around those pesky wetnurses.

Breastfeeding: if it wasn't indecent for Mary to nurse the Baby Jesus, it's damned well not indecent for your kid either.

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