Ewwwwwww!

Remember that episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation when Commander Riker is involved in some kind of "exchange program", and thus goes to live with the Klingons for a while? There's a scene where he learns that a particular Klingon culinary delicacy is best when served live. It's a plate of squirming...thingies.

Of course, you don't have to go to the Klingon homeworld to enjoy a plate of squirming tentacles:

In every scenario I played out in my imagination as far as eating this dish was concerned, I predicted nothing more than a brief slimy struggle then stillness — the last words of an insignificant creature low on the food chain. Silly me. I could not have underestimated my dinner more because once in my mouth, the tentacle went into attack mode and aggressively suctioned on to my teeth, tongue and bottom lip making it nearly impossible for me to manipulate my mouth in order to eat it.

And if reading this well-written post still doesn't give you the idea, watch this video!

Would I try this? I'm pretty adventurous, but no way. I'm with Woody Allen, who said of oysters words that can be likewise applied to octopus tentacles:

"I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead."

Yup. Dead food is good.

(via the evil axe-murdering evolutionist.)