Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Aim High! Leave yourself an out!

I just know that you, Dear Readers, have always wondered what I look like when I'm driving. So here are some photos taken whilst driving recently.

I'm a pretty paranoid driver, tending to assume the very worst about everyone else on the road. To my way of thinking, the only reasonable stance when driving is to adopt the belief that every other person on the road is a ne'er-do-well or, worse, a just plain malevolent soul looking to smash me with their vehicle. That leads me to looking like this:

Paranoid driver is paranoid.


I don't trust any of you. Nothing personal, but when you're on the road at the same time that I am on the road, you are now the enemy!

Now, one thing that frustrates me is when I get behind the Hesitant Turner. This is the person who is extremely hesitant about, you guessed it, turning. They'll sit at the intersection until there is absolutely zero traffic in either direction, rather than make a judgment on when they can go based on their knowledge of their own vehicle's ability to accelerate quickly. These people annoy me to no end, which leads to scenes like this, as I shout "GO GO GO GO GO!"

GO GO GO GO GO!!!


I've already established my loathing of people who refuse to turn right on red. Here's the look I tend to give such folks, hoping they'll look in their rear-view mirror and see the laser beams coming from my eyes to fry their brains, but they never do....

Stuck in slow driver hell


And here's the bored look I get when I'm stuck on a long straightaway behind a lot of slow-moving traffic:

Aim high, leave yourself an out, ummm....


The title of this post is taken, of course, from the "Rules of Driving" that many of us learned in Driver's Ed. (At least, those are the two I remember; the rest are here.) Try as I might, I don't recall Mr. Wilcox (my Driver's Ed teacher) telling me to not make contorted faces of extreme disdain at my enemy drivers, but he didn't say not to, either. So....

(OK, in all honesty, I didn't take any of these photos while the car was in motion. Heck, it wasn't even in "Drive"; the car was stationary at the time. No, I'm not driving around taking self-photos of me making goofy faces while I'm actually handling a car in motion!)

1 comment:

SK Waller said...

This is a great post.

The drivers that get to me are those who think they have to come to a near stop to turn right into a driveway or or a parking space. Just frickin' turn already!