Behold...THE PHILANTHROPIST!!!

Jill points out a wonderful bit of Net timewasting: you can make yourself into a superhero! It's awesome! Here's my creation:



I feel the need for a little contest here, so: who can come up with the coolest Origin Story for the Intimidating Bespectacled Philanthropist? What would turn a mild-mannered guy in overalls into a strappingly muscled hero who flies around on his jetpack, giving out bags of groceries? Let me know, folks!