After a vigorous day of horseback riding out in the woods, I stopped when I felt a sharp pain in my purlicue, so I dismounted. That's when I noticed that there were otters nearby, and I had stepped in their spraints and got it all over my rowels! I was so mad I closed my eyes and saw the greatest phosphenes of my life! But alas, today I'm off to Target to get some new aglets.
For help translating this gibberish, see this list of names for things that you might not have realized had names in the first place. By the way, the word "aglet" was actually used on a recent episode of CSI: Miami. I know it was that word because after one person said it, another helpfully defined it, in a fairly ham-handed "As you know, Bob" moment. (link via Lynn)
I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention the cosmic bizarreness of Ann Althouse's conjecture that maybe Jose Padilla's jailers keep him blindfolded so he can't communicate by blinking when he's outside the jail cell! That was some prime weirdness, right there.