I've been keeping an old copy of Roger Ebert's Movie Home Companion in the bathroom lately, because it makes good bathroom reading: just thumb through, find a review, read it, and then...well, you get the idea. Ebert's always been my favorite film critic, even though I only tend to agree with him about 70% of the time, and he's never better than when he's teeing off on a bad movie. A case in point is this hilarious first sentence to his review of some action movie called Money Train:
"Like a guy working two shifts, Money Train keeps slapping itself to stay awake."
That's almost as good as his contention that the first Charlie's Angels movie was "eye candy for the blind".