Sunday, December 12, 2004

"Lileks Mode ON"

So I went to Target this morning, skipping our usual church service. I know, I know, but the Wife had to stay home with Little Quinn, who was for some reason nursing a barnburner of a bellyache. So I dropped The Daughter at Sunday School and then headed off to Target to pick up some shampoo and shower gel and a few other sundries.

(Goofy tangent: according to Blogger's search function, that last sentence is the first time I've used the word "sundries" in this space. Add that to the list of Things You Had No Need To Know.)

The trip to Target was just your run-of-the-mill trip to Target, with the exception of one key factor: this particular Target, which is all of two miles from our home, is also all of two miles from Ralph Wilson Stadium. And today the Buffalo ShiBills have a home game. So I observed some colorful stuff while on my dull Target run:

:: The store is just past an expressway interchange. Standing very near the interchange was some guy holding up a pizza box on which he had scrawled in black marker, "I NEED TICKETS!". Fair enough...except, about fifty feet down the road from this guy, stood a scalper. It was like watching Wimpy stand with his back to a McDonald's.

:: I don't know if Target allows tailgating in its parking lot, or if these guys were merely trying to test their grill or what, but there was a cluster of about seven guys in ShiBills attire standing in the bed of a pickup truck, carefully studying the grill that was literally teetering on the back end of the tailgate.

:: A large contingent of Cleveland Browns fans, probably ten or twelve of 'em, was wandering the aisles of Target as well. At one point, I heard one of them loudly intone, "Well, Buffalo never won a Super Bowl!", to which his buddies yukked it up. I merely shook my head, unable to decide if I should retort, and, if so, which reply I should use:

"Well, the Bills wanted to lose one Super Bowl for every decade since the NFL-AFL merger in which the Browns have failed to even get to the Super Bowl."

"Well, the Bills have at least demonstrated an ability to hold a lead in the final minutes of an AFC Championship Game."

"Well, our owner hasn't shown his love by ditching his city, and our city didn't have to have the NFL step in an expand to replace a franchise that was taken away by a fickle owner."

Yeah, I know, the "Zing!" factor of that last one isn't very high. I was merely struck by the idea that a fan of a team that's 3-8 and is in total disarray as a franchise would try and get mouthy while on the road. But that's an NFL fan, for you. We're a strange bunch.

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