(This post is slightly, well, "randy" in content.)
Tonight I was driving through a neighborhood I hadn't been through before, and I saw some very nice Christmas light displays. But there was one thing that clearly the homeowner didn't check out: they had a tall, oblong shrub in front of their house, about six or seven feet tall, with a rounded top and a very slight lean. This was covered in a brilliant display of green lights, which the homeowner had placed with sufficient density to make the thing very bright and very festive. Up close.
The problem is, from distances of, say, a quarter mile or more, all those lights sort-of blend together into a single shaft of green light. So, unfortunately, it looked as if this one house had a giant green phallus in the front yard. I seriously doubt that this was the intended effect.
Always check your Christmas lights from a distance, folks.