Byzantium's Shores: chronicling the misadventures of an overalls-clad hippie

I'm a bit saddened to note that I've fallen sufficiently out of touch with the field in which I majored in college (philosophy) that I can't even come up with an entry for this contest, as reported by Matthew Yglesias. So, at this point in my life I'd have to eschew the actual pick-up line in favor of creating a false aura of philosophical nature: I'd find a coffee house (but not Starbuck's, a local joint), wear black, wear my hair down, and sit at a table pretending to read Sartre and jotting down notes with an illegible scrawl in a beat-up spiral-bound notebook, whilst looking all intense and stuff. Bonus points if I haven't shaved in a while.

Yeah, that would have 'em swooning in the aisles....