Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Hell's Masterchefs

Spoilerific musings on Hell's Kitchen and MasterChef!

:: Elise is freakishly annoying. She's not a bad cook, but she's lazy in the challenge loser punishments and just a generic loudmouth. And I frankly don't understand why people don't learn that taking the "I'm not here to make friends!" approach to a reality teevee competition never works.

:: If a favorite is emerging -- and it's not a strong favorite -- it's probably Will, from the Men's (Blue) team. He doesn't get a whole lot of screen time during services, which is a good thing, because screen time during services tends to go to the people who blunder. Will's main screen time comes during challenges, when he does well. I don't think he's had a dish criticized yet, and he did a 4-for-4 performance in the "cook four cuts of beef to specific doneness" challenge.

:: They made a big deal out of the 'balcony tables' overlooking the kitchen, but nothing's happened up there that I know of. Odd.

On MasterChef:

:: I like Jennifer a lot. She definitely has cooking skill, and...well, she's pretty. I'm shallow.

:: I wonder if the producers worked on Joe Bastianich's personal skills or something, but he is not nearly as obnoxiously arrogant as he was last season. He's still an occasional hard-ass, but he actually looks like he's enjoying doing the show this time out. There's a lot less of the "I shall now descend from Mt. Olympus to mingle with you groveling monkeys" air about him this season.

:: But then, it could just be that Bastianich is simply the second most insufferable prick in this year's edition of MasterChef. This guy Christian is just a complete douche. He's also a very good cook, obviously, but really -- douche. He's so convinced that he is carrying around giant bags filled with Awesome that it's been noticed by the chef judges, who are starting to take shots at him for it. Which he is ignoring. He reminds me of the awful Benjamin from two seasons back on Hell's Kitchen, a bullying toad who doubled down on his own screw-ups when one of the world's greatest chefs told him he was full of it.

:: I'd love to see a Mystery Box Challenge where contestants are not given a bunch of "the most amazing" ingredients, but rather, a whole bunch of crap. I'd like to see a challenge where they're told to make something decent out of beef kidneys, regular old American white bread, Velveeta, and stuff like that. Now there would be a serious Challenge!

That's about it. More in a few weeks, probably.

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