"OK, Mr. Mariano, I got you a win. Can I have my naked pictures back, please?"

So, apparently "Boston Rob" Mariano won Survivor. Well, hell, he should have. It was, after all, his fourth appearance on the show. Coupled with his two losing appearances on The Amazing Race, Rob was 0-5 in million-dollar-prize CBS reality shows going into this one. Now he's 1-5, which is actually a worse winning percentage than the Atlanta Braves posted in World Series appearances in the 1990s (they were 1-4 at winning the Series).

I was actually excited for this season of Survivor, because I thought that the twist they had come up with -- "Redemption Island" -- was a fascinating one that could very well do interesting things with the psychology of the game. But then, CBS turned around and played down the "Redemption Island" aspect by insisting that what the world really needed to see was Rob versus Russell again. I, already filled with dislike for both guys, decided that I had no interest in watching this season until both were gone.

Now, Russell was gone very quickly, and I figured that if the castaways were smart, they'd eliminate both of them on general principle. Seriously: if I went through the audition process, got picked for the show, and then showed up for the first day of competition only to then find out that two of the other castaways had been on the show a combined five previous times, with each one never winning, I would have made getting rid of them both Job Number One. Apparently these folks didn't think like that, but then, I have zero idea as to what they were thinking, as I stuck to my guns and didn't watch the show at all.

Hey, if Rob "played the game" and everybody loves that, great. My opinion isn't based on his game play this time around. I'm not saying he shouldn't have won because he'd had his shot before; I'm saying that he shouldn't have been there at all because he'd had his shot before. And even though I hate Rob and think he's a colossal douchebag, it's not just about Rob. I liked Rupert a lot each time he was on, but he's had three shots and should never show up again. In fact, I'd pretty much cap everyone off at two possible appearances, period. But then, it's not my show.

I'll say this: I'll be extremely surprised if Rob isn't on Survivor or The Amazing Race yet again at some point in the next three years. I don't think that CBS or Mark Burnett can quit this guy. Winner or no this time, Rob is not going into the sunset. He'll be back. So, I strongly suspect, will Russell.

And I won't watch then, either.