:: I've linked Wookieepedia, the Star Wars Wiki, before. But I don't remember if I've linked its non-canon counterpart, Banthapedia, before, so here it is. From its entry on Han Solo:
While reports vary, Han apparently was affiliated with the Empire at some point, and he decided to throw his military career away in order to rescue one or more Wookie slaves. This is how he met Chewbacca who became his companion and co-pilot for many years. Han and Chewie flew around in the Millenium Falcon smuggling drugs, solving mysteries, leading the authorities on wild chases, and jumping over things. Sadly, their close relationship came to an end when Han got married.
Han and Chewie were spending the morning drinking away a ahangover in a crazy bar, when an old man and an obnoxious putz showed up looking for a ride. Since they offered considerably more than his usual asking price, Han accepted. After mercilessly gunning down some low-level goon, Han flew his passengers to the Death Star. Where he met Princess Leia, then ran around like a crazy person shooting Stormtroopers to try and impress her. Unfortunately, she was too busy flirting with her brother to notice.
Though they were able to eventually escape, Han decided to cut his losses and get the hell out of there before the Death Star came back and blew them all up, but later changed his mind when he realized how impressed the princess would be if he saved everyone. While he was instrumental in its destruction, Luke fired the critical shot and hogged most of the glory- though Leia did give Han the Medal of Holy Crap That Was Some Insane Ish You Pulled That Will Never Be Duplicated
It hurts to realize how accurate that is, huh?
:: OK, I don't much like "Yo momma is so fat" jokes either. But these, employing a "science nerd" voice, are actually kind of funny. (And gross.)
:: Goodnight Forest Moon. Go to sleep, little stormtrooper!
More next week.