Sentential Links

Linkage...but first, the Bond girl named "Dink"!



Boy, the casual sexism of the early Bond films still makes me squirm. Anyway....

:: Do you remember back in the "old days" when you'd be out and about somewhere and something would happen, and you'd think, "I can't wait to blog about this!" It wasn't that long ago, really. But these days everyone seems to have a phone that connects to every server in the world, and most people just send these moments to Twitter or Facebook. (I miss the sense of free-for-all conversation that used to be the coin of the realm in Blogistan, but I suppose that was inevitable, as the conversations moved to Facebook and Twitter. Neither is perfect, either -- on FB, we select the people with whom we want to interact, and that's that; on Twitter, anyone can interact with us -- unless we block them -- but man, that 140-character limit can be a bear sometimes. I've seen people on Twitter who decide to abandon their blogs, and then they proceed to post blog-post length items to Twitter, 140 characters at a time, for many tweets in a row. This always irritates me, since Twitter updates chronologically, so unless one is actually on Twitter when one of these starts, you have to scroll backward to figure out what's being talked about. My audience here is pretty much what it is, although I do probably pick up a reader or two here and there, and lose a reader here and there. And that's about it...the traffic remains the same, and it's mostly Google image searches. Does this bug me? A bit...but I can't shut myself up, so there it is.)

:: A lot of people have asked me why I don't review the Grammys. Any organization that gives Chris Brown awards instead of putting him in jail is not one I take seriously.

:: Gary Carter was responsible for some of the most memorable moments I've ever spent watching baseball.

:: Why, Otis Redding. Why?

Why did you have to leave us so early? (This is a wonderful, wonderful post.)

:: Life is a complicated mix of good and bad, painful and pleasant. Through it all I decide which I will focus on .....what I have to be grateful for or what I have to sorrow about. I pick. I hope I can choose well. (My dear friend Lynda has had a rough start to 2012, after a wonderful 2011. I know that she will try to approach everything with as much strength and laughter as she can manage.)

:: Happiness is 20 kids making one pie. Look at the flour on their hands. Look at the smiles on their faces. If this doesn't make my 24 hours on 3 different airplanes worth the trip, I don't know what does.

:: When one believes in something you don't see or understand, too often we assume its them when it is us. There are fairies, there are gods, there are demons and there are angels. Who are you to say there is not? Without trumpets or wings, I know one passed this way.

More next week!

Godspeed, John Glenn!

Fifty years ago today, astronaut John Glenn launched in a spacecraft called Friendship 7 and became the first American to orbit the Earth. Here's a wonderful documentary, assembled by NASA after the mission's end, detailing the events of Glenn's mission, from pre-launch preparations to Glenn's post-splashdown arrival on the aircraft carrier.




I watched this film way back in third grade, when our class was doing a research project on space; I remember Mrs. Grosbeck, our teacher, looking with some dismay at the two giant film reels for this movie and realizing that we'd have to watch it in two installments. (That's something I recall from watching educational movies in school: seeing the teacher pick up the film reel, and noting its size which would therefore indicate its length. Big film reels, meaning longer films, made us happy. If it was a small one, someone in class would say something like, "Awww, a short one." Good times!) I've looked for this film on YouTube and in other places a few times over the years, and I'm thrilled that it's finally available. I could watch archival NASA footage for hours. It reminds me that there was a time when you could read about NASA and not see the phrase "budget cuts" in the next sentence.

I love the style of this film -- listen to the portentous narration, loaded with patriotic fervor and the clear belief that space exploration is obviously what's next. "Today, John Glenn and the Mercury team challenged space...and they won!" And while all this goes on, a stirring music score throbs away in the background. A documentary like this would be dismissed today as slavish propaganda, and I suppose, in a way, that it is...but you know what, I just don't care. Our space program in the 1960s, even though we might wish it was less motivated by a desire to beat the Soviets, was a time of greatness that we achieved because we just plain wanted it. And it saddens me to think that our era of space exploration was so short that a landmark mission, fifty years ago, now seems almost quaint.

Come on, America! Why are we messing around? The stars are awaiting us!

Read a good account of Glenn's mission here (the photo above comes from there as well). What a thrilling time that must have been. I sometimes wonder if maybe the spaceflight 'glow' would have lasted longer if what is certainly its 'Golden Age' to this point didn't coincide with Viet Nam...but that's a hypothesis for another day.

Sunday Burst of Weird and Awesome!

Oddities and Awesome abound!

::  Want to take a few minutes and study a picture for all the SF-geek references within it? Sure you do. (It's mostly Star Wars references, but there's other stuff in there, too. I wish you could resolve it even larger....)

::  Roger Ebert reviews the new movie The Vow. This doesn't sound like anything I'd watch unless I'm in my fairly rare mood for whatever the Tearjerker Of The Day happens to be, but this closing paragraph of Ebert's caught my attention:

A footnote. The movie is said to be set in Chicago. It struck me as strange that it has such a large number of second-unit shots of the city: skylines, elevated trains, the Music Box movie theater. Yet the couple itself is rarely seen in them. There is one nice shot of the newlyweds running from the Art Institute across a footbridge into Millennium Park and ending up under the Bean, but otherwise something fishy is going on. Yes, the movie was shot mostly in Toronto. Poor Toronto. Poor Chicago. Poor Paige and Leo. Poor Jeremy, even.

I don't get this, really. I mean, I get why movies would film in Toronto -- it's cheaper to do so. But why go to the trouble of establishing its setting as Chicago with some second-unit stuff? Why not just set the movie in Toronto? Are we that afraid that Americans might say, "Hey, here's a movie we can see...oh wait, no, the movie's set in Toronto, not any good American city. Forget that!"? I just don't get this.

::  I may have linked this before, but if so, well...I'm gonna link it again. Check out NASA's current highest-resolution photos of our entire planet. You can look at both hemispheres. Amazing!

More next week!

Saturday Centus

Wow...I missed one last week. Totally, completely, slipped my mind. Ugh! Sorry, folks.

Anyway, this week's prompt is fairly tough: we're to write our autobiography in six words. Hmmmm....

Includes: One heart. Some assembly required.

That ought to do.

Page One: the Marvel STAR WARS comic

It's kind of odd to think of it now, but once upon a time, there was no Star Wars. I know, weird, huh? And once upon a time, the only stuff out there with Star Wars on it were the movie itself (which you had to see in theaters), a novelization of the movie with George Lucas's byline on it (but actually ghost-written by Alan Dean Foster), and the comic book by Marvel. Here's the first page of it.

The original are was by Howard Chaykin, who would stick around for ten issues before leaving and being replaced by Carmine Infantino for a while. The first six issues were strictly an adaptation of the movie, but based on the original shooting script, so you had the deleted early scenes with Luke Skywalker looking up at the sky during his work and seeing flashes of light -- the flashes of laser cannon fire between the blockade runner and the Imperial star destroyer -- and his conversation with Biggs, who reveals his intention to leave the Imperial Academy and join the Rebel Alliance. There is also the deleted scene between Han Solo and Jabba the Hutt, which was eventually put back into the movie by George Lucas, but as there was no design for Jabba at that time, Marvel made him into a trim, bipedal alien.

After issue #6, Marvel found itself with a hit comic and no idea what was to come in the Star Wars saga, so they struck out on their own, first with a story tracking Han and Chewie as they return with their money to pay off Jabba. Unfortunately they get attacked by pirates, who steal the money; then they find themselves on a backwater world that's even more backwater than Tatooine, where they end up in a rehash of The Seven Samurai. Meanwhile Luke is sent out to look for a new planet for the Rebels to put their hidden base on, because the Empire is sure to counterattack at Yavin pretty soon. Luke finds a world that is nothing but ocean, where a whole separate war is going on. Then the heroes end up together on a space station that's a giant Las Vegas in space. And so on.

The Marvel Star Wars comics were really a lot of fun, especially during the period between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. Without guidelines of what to do (or probably with some vague limitations), the Marvel series was basically a lot of fun space opera adventure. I didn't get to read these stories until some years later, during the mid-1980s, after Return of the Jedi had come out, and as part of my big comic book collecting phase, I amassed the entire run of Marvel's Star Wars books. The generally light-hearted, adventurous, swashbuckling tone of those thirty-one or so issues of the book (their Empire Strikes Back adaptation would begin with #39) was partly in keeping with the tone of the first film, the film in which the mythic aspects of Star Wars weren't quite so prominent as in later films (although they certainly were prominent). The tone of the book would shift after TESB to put the Rebel Alliance and its struggles in sharper focus, and the Empire would become significantly more important.

After Return of the Jedi, the comics lost a lot of their focus. The series kept going until issue #107 (ROTJ had been adapted in its own four-issue limited series, with #83 or 84 being the first post-ROTJ story in the series). At the time, the book was setting up an alien invasion story, but this got wrapped up by necessity entirely too quickly. This was not surprising, really; Star Wars pretty much went completely dormant after ROTJ left theaters, and wouldn't awaken until 1991 and Timothy Zahn's novel Heir to the Empire, which would launch the entire "Extended Universe", which is still going strong to this day.

The Marvel Star Wars comic has been anthologized several times. Oddly, even though I still own all the original issues (albeit in my parents' garage), I haven't picked up the anthologies.

I can't help it...it always makes me laugh.

Picard - WTF is this shit?, originally uploaded by DarksideHalo.

Something for Thursday

For ten years of blogging, I feel like some Berlioz. Here's the "Hungarian March" from The Damnation of Faust:



And here's some Rachmaninov, in his celebrated Vocalise:



And here's some Gerald Finzi, his Eclogue for Piano and Strings:



And finally...All you need is love!

Ten Years in Blogistan

Ten years ago today, this post went live, and Byzantium's Shores was off and running. Wow.

I've told the story before of how this blog came to be, but why not...after all, today's the Blogiversary. In late 2001 or thereabouts, my main area of interaction with others online was on the rec.music.movies newsgroup, as well as a couple other USENET groups. It was quite the free-for-all in conversation at the time, but there was always a pressure to stay on the topic of the group, so if I wanted to discuss a book I'd read, it wasn't really in good form to do in on r.m.m. Unfortunately, those were the people I knew the best...and none of them were active on any of the book groups. That's just one example...but I started wanting to write about things other than movie music. (And to be honest, r.m.m. was hardly the most militant group out there when it came to policing off-topic discussions.)

Also around this time, I would occasionally plug an old schoolmate's name into Google and see what, if anything, came up. More often than not, nothing did, because back then there was no real social networking to be had and few people had any kind of online presence. But one friend of mine did turn up, a guy I'd known from college, Sean Meade -- who appeared to have an odd kind of website that consisted of things he'd post, which were arranged by date. This idea appealed to me, but I had no idea how to implement such a thing.

A little bit after that, I read an article in TIME Magazine about a new thing called "blogging", short for "web log", which was simply an online diary onto which one could post anything one wished. Like...essays about books, movies, music, and current events! So I checked out this site called "Blogger", familiarized myself with the concept, and created a blog.

Which I almost immediately abandoned.

See, that first blog was something called "Jaquandor's Rants" or something like that. I regretted that title almost immediately, because I didn't intend to just rant all the time. I abandoned that one and created another one, and in striking about for a title, saw a book on my shelf: a historical fantasy novel called Byzantium by Steven Lawhead. It was a quick leap from there to Byzantium's Shores. As I wrote in my second-ever post:

Why "Byzantium's Shores"? Well, for one thing it just sounds exotic to my ear, five syllables which strike me as fairly melodious.

But more importantly, Byzantium was a place where east and west met along with new and old; it was a city which looked backward to the fallen glories of Rome and forward to the eventual rebirth of the continent that lay to its west. It seems a good fit, then, to cite such a place to name this space where I shall explore my own tastes -- tastes which range wildly from the techno music of Tangerine Dream to the symphonies of Mozart, from the abstracts of Jackson Pollack to the English pastorals of John Constable, from the magnificent verse of Shakespeare to the punching comedic prose of Christopher Moore. And then, of course, there is that wonderful poem by Yeats, as well as the wondrous fictional Byzantium that appears in Guy Gavriel Kay's The Sarantine Mosaic.

And then, the final word: "Shores". A journey can both begin and end at a shore, from either the land or the sea. No matter which direction one is traveling, a shore marks some kind of terminus.

Wow...you know, there's a reason why I rarely read my own writing. Could I have sounded any more like a pretentious ass? My God, that's just so twee, I can barely stand it. Ye Gods.

And yet, Byzantium's Shores stuck.

At first, I was strictly pseudonymous and said almost nothing of myself. I cut my Internet teeth in the mid-90s, when it was not an uncommon belief that it was unwise to post things online under your real name, and aliases were a lot more common then, so I merely continued the practice. As I went on, though, this began to feel more and more like a hindrance than anything else, so I gradually loosened the reins on that, allowing my name to appear here and there, and opening up as time went by. I revealed that I lived in Buffalo, and then Syracuse, and then Buffalo again; I discussed jobs of mine and the search for a new one; I discussed the birth of our second child, Little Quinn, whose story was vastly different than anything we'd ever prepared for. Opening up just seemed more and more natural, the longer I spent hanging out in Blogistan.

Oddly, I've never really fallen into any particular mold of blogging. I never blogged enough about politics to be considered a political blog, and even now, I tend to restrict my political comment to Sentential Links posts or to Tumblr, where I let the hair down a bit more even than I do here. I never blogged enough about any of the arts to fall into one of those categories, either. There was a relatively brief time when there was a "local" blogosphere -- what I called, for a time, the "Buffalo prefecture of Blogistan" -- but for the most part, the Buffalo blog scene is now pretty limited in scope and in sense of 'community'.

What kind of blog is this, then? I suppose it's just a personal blog wherein a guy with a fairly large set of general interests posts about anything that strikes him as post-worthy. And since that's really what it was meant to be in the first place, that means I've kept true to the original 'vision'. Yay, me!

So: what are some memorable moments I've had while blogging? Most obviously, the outpouring of support for Little Quinn's birth and later, his death. Seven-and-a-half years on, that event is still one whose ripples in the pond of my life are quite visible. Almost right up there was the end of our fourth attempt to add to our family, when baby Fiona was born at only 21 weeks' gestation. (And for those with long memories and who may be doing the math...yes, I said fourth. I never discussed the miscarriage that happened a year before Fiona, and likely never will. I have limits.)

Of course, it wasn't all sad. I've posted about Star Wars more times than I can remember (although, thanks to post tags, I can pull most of 'em up). And Star Trek. And James Bond. And The Lord of the Rings. And so many others...it's mostly been fun.

Other moments haven't been quite as much fun, I must admit; some of those were my fault. My off-the-cuff "Too bad he wasn't having a fatal heart attack" comment about Rush Limbaugh following his hospitalization for chest pains a few years back was, shall we say, ill-advised. I've said other dumb things over the years, because, well, you can't say stuff for ten years without having something dumb-arsed cross your lips or emerge from your keyboard once in a while. I do generally try to keep from offending people, but there are times when one's beliefs are by definition offensive to someone. Given that, though, sometimes it's best just to not throw gas onto the fire. I haven't been guilty of that very often...but I have been guilty of it.

What's made blogging so fun for me -- after the bit about having my very own forum to spout about what I want, when I want, how I want -- are the other bloggers and the readers. I'm not sure I'd have kept it up through the years without the folks who would read this stuff and, occasionally here and there, link it from their own blogs. I'm grateful to each and every person who has ever read or linked me, whether they were "drive-by" visitors or people linking me just to make fun of me. (This has not happened much...nor have I received more than a handful of hate-mails or insulting comments. But it was mildly disappointing to get a link from Fark.com only to have it turn out to be a "Hey guys, get a load of the big dummy!" kind of thing. Oh well!) I remember a few readers who were regulars but who fell away over time, for various reasons, and I remember the ones who are still around. I'm grateful for all!

I keep thinking about what is different now from when I launched this blog. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone were in theaters during their first run; only four of the seven Harry Potter books had come out. George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire stood at three volumes. The top teevee show was Friends. The first Spider-Man movie was due in a few months, as was Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Just two NFL seasons had passed since the Buffalo Bills' last playoff appearance, and the newly-reigning Super Bowl champs were a team that I would grow to loathe more than any force in history: the New England Patriots!

The Red Sox and their "Curse of the Bambino" was still two years from coming to an end. I was working a telesales job at which I sucked. I was hearing things online about a space opera teevee show to come that fall, created by the guy who had created Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We were two years away from the dawn of a site called Facebook. George W. Bush was barely into his second year in office, and 9-11-01 was a terribly real and raw force -- it was barely a memory even, when I started this blog, just five months and a few days after that awful event. I was two years away from hearing about a state-level politician from Illinois whom some said might one day run for President. Space shuttle Columbia was still in service and would be for another year, before breaking up on re-entry over Texas. Adele was 13. George Clooney was still the most recent Batman. Pierce Brosnan was still James Bond.

And at that time, The Daughter was just two-and-a-half. We were a year and a half away from deciding to expand our family. I knew nothing at all about cerebral palsy. My sister-in-law, now a mother of two, was three years away from marriage. About the only constant was that I had long hair and I was wearing overalls a lot...but I was two years or so from putting up a picture of same. I'm now writing this very entry on a laptop that I bought in 2007, five-and-a-half years into the blog's life. This is the fourth computer on which I've written entries for this blog (of computers we've owned -- I've also posted a few brief entries from other computers, such as ones at work [only when I'm on break!] and the like). And Computer Number Five for Byzantium's Shores is like to debut sometime in the next few months, as my poor beloved Dell Inspiron 1520 is becoming slower and slower in its advancing digital age. When this blog started, I would not own my own cell phone for another six-and-a-half years. I'm on my second cell phone now. It's still not a smartphone.

Ten years in Blogistan. How much longer? Who knows? Maybe a while, maybe not. I don't plan it, really. When I started I figured that I might have one year of this in me...and here I am. Who knew!

And that's enough navel gazing, I think. On with the blogging!



(And if you haven't Asked Me Anything! yet, what's it gonna take? I'm waiting for you!)

A Random Wednesday Conversation Starter

Adele: what is her deal? (No, seriously -- what's her thing? I was vaguely aware of the existence of a person named 'Adele' before this past weekend, but now I'm seeing her mentioned and linked everywhere. Is there something I'm missing out on in my ignorance? Edumucate me, folks!)

On Newt and the Moon

Charles Pierce:

I have to confess: The fact that N. Leroy Gingrich, Definer Of Civliization's Rules and Leader (Perhaps) Of The Civlizing Forces, proposed building a base on the moon by 2020, only to have the idea turned into a punchline and general ridicule, actually bothered the hell out of me. When did we become so quick to mock this kind of thing? When did our national imagination wither this way? When did exploration become just another "big government" program for pipsqueaks like Willard Romney to ridicule?

I'm old enough to remember when the space program was something capable of moving the entire world to wonder and delight. It seemed like something we all got together and did as a species.

I've been rewatching Carl Sagan's Cosmos lately, and as brilliant as the series remains -- even with some dated material, I'm still convinced that it should be required viewing for, well, every single person on Earth -- I can't help but feel somewhat elegiac about it, because Cosmos has at its heart an assumption that the dream of the stars would continue. Instead it's died, and the only time we get to hear anyone speak of it, the words come from the mouth of crazy moral midget Newt Gingrich.

At what point did we collectively stick our heads up our own asses, anyway?

On Whitney and the Anthem

In comments to the previous post on Whitney Houston, Kerry asks why I didn't post the video of Houston's now-iconic performance of The Star-Spangled Banner at Super Bowl XXV. It's a fair question, worthy of a couple of answers.

First of all...the performance wasn't truly live. She was singing, with the mike turned off, while her pre-recorded performance, great as it is, was played over the stadium speakers and to the broadcast audience. She wasn't lip-syncing, but I have a hard time seeing that performance as a truly live performance.

Second: well, this may be stupid. But I often have a hard time separating events from one another, and that anthem performance is irrevocably linked with one of the most painful outcomes I've ever experienced for one of my sports teams. (The only one that hurts more to remember, down to this day, is the Atlanta Braves' Game Seven defeat of my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates in the bottom of the ninth in the 1992 National League Championship Series.) I hear Whitney Houston's anthem, and so much more floods through my mind: botched tackles. A heroic game by Thurman Thomas, to no avail. And yes...Wide Right.

Because the next three Super Bowl losses were all by much greater margins, they're easier to remember for me. Super Bowl XXV, though, is the one they should have won. They should have been champions when that night ended, and they weren't, and what's worst is that as things unfolded, that was their best shot at it.

This all probably sounds pretty trite, but I have very powerful memories of that game. The Bills' Super Bowl runs all happened (except for the last one) when I was at college, 800 miles away from home. The Buffalo Bills were home. When I sat down to watch that game, it wasn't just to watch my favorite team; it was in hopes and expectations that when it ended, I'd be sharing the same emotional high that everyone back home would be feeling. Instead...I got a kick in the gut.

You know what the worst thing was that night? I had a sectional rehearsal for one of my musical ensembles that night, scheduled for 9:30 or so. I'd told my section leader beforehand, "Look, I'll be there, but not one second before that game ends. Because it's the Bills." So the damn game ended, and I had to get up and head out for a damned rehearsal, pretending that I was just fine and ready to get back to work. Which was, frankly, the very last thing I wanted to do.

I've been through an awful lot of shit since the night of Super Bowl XXV, so it may seem silly to still feel icky feelings about that night and how it ended. But I'm not really wired to separate entire events from things that happened in life outside of it, which is why as a rule, my memories of Whitney Houston's Star-Spangled Banner aren't terribly happy ones.

Hurg!

Sorry about the complete disappearance the last few days, folks, but Real Life got a bit busy there for a few days. Nothing major, just a lot of stuff that ended up on the plate at the same time.

So, if you haven't Asked Me Anything! yet, why the heck not? Get thee hence and drop a question there!

(Sentential Links will return next week.)

Sunday Burst of Weird and Awesome

Oddities and Awesome abound!

:: Want to learn how to make a whole lot of mixed drinks? Just follow the diagram! (Although probably not after you've had a few. You'd end up with some seriously awful drinks, or some seriously amazing drinks that you will never be able to replicate.)

:: Ever wonder what things look like from the perspective of the Hula Hoop? Wonder no more!




(via)

That's about it. Tune in next week for more!

Whitney

I got home from grocery shopping last night to the news that Whitney Houston is dead. This is one of those odd celebrity deaths that is a combination of "WTF?!" and "Well, given what I know of her recent life, I suppose this isn't quite the galloping shock I thought it was at first."

I wasn't a huge Whitney Houston fan, but I never really disliked her, either. She did songs I liked a lot, and she did songs that I could live my life without ever hearing again ("Greatest Love of All" leads the way here). She had one of the amazing voices of all time, and she was, in her prime, able to use that voice of hers to do some pretty amazing things, and not all of them involved belting BALLADS OF ULTIMATE HUGENESS into the nosebleed seats at Super Big Arena or wherever it was that she was performing.

I find it a terrible shame and waste that her life ran off the rails and that she lost control to the extent that she did. Do I blame her? To a small extent, maybe, but then, I know enough about addiction and what it does to people to know that while Whitney Houston is the one who crossed that bridge, it's a bridge that often one doesn't even realize one is crossing until they're too far past it. (It remains, as I write this, to be seen just to what degree drugs played a role in her death.) Addicts make choices that lead to addiction, to be sure, but I don't for one second pretend that all choices are clear or obvious.

Anyway, it's a loss. For what it's worth, here's my favorite Whitney Houston song.

Saluting Maestro Williams

John Williams is 80 today. May he live and compose for a long time to come!











One of film music's finest voices, and one of the musical voices that has moved me the most over the years. Thank you, Maestro Williams.

A quiz-thing

I haven't done one of these in quite some time! Roger did this one, and I think I will, too.

1. One of my favorite TV shows recently changed the actors who played two characters. Have you ever been bothered by a TV show or movie series changing actors who play a character you love?

At first glance, I didn't think I really had very many good examples of this, but thinking about it more, it's obvious that I have a bunch. First we have the James Bond movies; you can't be a long-time Bond fan and not have some strong opinions as to which one's the best. (Mine is that I really, truly, honestly like every single Bond actor, and that the one most generally viewed as the worst -- George Lazenby -- was not only pretty good, but starred in the best Bond film ever made. How do you like that!)

Then we have things like the ongoing reboot of Star Trek, with younger actors cast as Captain Kirk and company, and there's the new version of Spider Man coming out soon. I'm fine with Trek, although I'm not as thrilled with the resulting movie as some and I think the goofy "But it's just a new timeline!" excuses are pretty weak; I'm not fine with Spider-Man, though, because it's unnecessary when a perfectly acceptable (even if most folks didn't like III all that much) series of films could have been continued, and the only reason this one's happening at all is because Sony has to make a movie or they lose the Spider-Man rights.

I also remember things like the year that Donna Reed played Miss Ellie on Dallas, because they didn't want to write out Miss Ellie but Barbara Bel Geddes needed time off. I was OK with that; by that point, Miss Ellie was mainly a supporting character, anyway.

So basically, I go with a case-by-case basis on this kind of thing.

2. A coworker recently shared a link to a blog listing the "five things you should know before dating a journalist." As a journalist, I can honestly say the writer was spot-on. What are some things people should know before spending time with you?

I'm kind of confoozled by this question...if they want to spend time with me then they gotta know something about me to begin with, right? But anyway, I guess people should know that I tend to value honest conversation and laughter, and that I find racism and paranoia a major turnoff. Singing the praises of the New England Patriots is right out.

3. What is something you often do without realizing that you're doing it?


Knuckle-cracking. Humming. Muttering to myself. Staring off into space because I'm thinking about something.

4. Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to make you so angry?

Yeesh, I don't know...various Republicans, maybe? I can feel anger pretty intensely, but it burns itself out pretty quickly. The whole Tea Party thing makes me pretty mad, though. So do young people who bleat about Ron Paul and how awesome it would be if we hitched our 21st-century economy to 19th-century economic theory; what irritates me is how intensely clueless these folks are, and yet they'll tell me, "Educate yourself!" And climate-change deniers strikes me as not just angering, but downright dangerous.

5. If a fairy waved a magic wand and gave you the house of your dreams, where would it be and what features would it have?


A large kitchen with really great ventilation, large bedrooms, a room big enough for the books (and with enough shelves), and it should be on a nice-sized lot bounded by a bunch of trees, for cooling and privacy. Oh, and a woodstove, and an outbuilding of some sort -- maybe an old, ramshackle garage -- where I could set up some kind of workshop so I could finally start exploring woodworking on a real basis and not just piecemeal via the projects I get at The Store.

6. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?

Obviously, that the Star Wars prequels don't suck! And also, that Super Bowl commercials are generally lame and not interesting enough to bother watching. I pay so little attention that there could be an ad during a Super Bowl featuring Kat Dennings wearing overalls while engaging in a pie fight, and I wouldn't know until the next day. (And maybe a good thing...that scenario might well make my head explode.)

7. I used to talk in my sleep. In fact, I could carry on a conversation with someone when I was fully asleep, and my mom used this fact when I was a teenager to find out if I did anything wrong and was hiding it from my parents. If you were talking your sleep tonight, what do you think you would say?

"Cersei, you lying whore." (I'm reading A Clash of Kings right now.)

8. The fourth installment of the "Twilight" movie series ("Breaking Dawn Part I") will be released in theaters soon. Movie theaters started selling advance tickets for midnight showings months ago. Have you ever attended a midnight premiere showing of a movie?

Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. Those are the only midnight movies I've done. I've seen a host of others on opening day, though.

9. On Tuesday, tigers, lions and bears were let loose in Zanesville, Ohio, by their owner before he committed suicide, leading to a hunt in which 49 of the animals, including 18 endangered Bengal tigers, were killed. How would you react if you saw "Caution exotic animals. Stay in your vehicle" being displayed on a road sign?

OK, this quiz is officially dated now. If I'm in the car with a person I don't like, maybe I distract them so they don't see the sign and then trick them into getting outside? No, that's mean. I guess I just drive away until I figure I'm safe and then call someone to find out what's going on.

10. If a company opened a theme park aimed at adults, what would you name one of the rides?


The Princess Leia Organa Slave Girl Revue. This would take place at the Star Wars theme park. Which needs to exist.

11. Imagine you just moved onto Sesame Street. Which puppet would you want as your new roommate?


Since Kermit exists on both Sesame Street and The Muppet Show, I will assume that Sesame Street is somewhat close to whatever street the Muppet Theater is on. This, therefore, gives me access to all the Muppets, and not just the ones on Sesame Street. For a roommate? I'd take Scooter. I think he'd be fairly quiet and conscientious. (I'll bet Animal throws some wild parties....)

12. Have you ever had a weird crush on a famous person that didn't make sense to you?


Nah, they all make sense to me. Some of them may not make sense to you, but I can't help that!

13. If you get ten minutes to interview any celebrity of your choice, who would you like it to be?


George Lucas. Or Barack Obama. Or Joss Whedon. Or...I'll just stop there, I guess.

14. You've just won the complete DVD collection of all the movies starring one actor or actress. Which actor/actress would you pick?


Ooooh, tough one. I think I'd go with Humphrey Bogart. Or Meryl Streep. Or Marilyn Monroe. Or...yeah, I'll stop there.

15. Actor George Clooney recently told People Magazine that he doesn't use Twitter "because I will drink in the evening and I don't want anything that I could possibly write at midnight to actually end my career." What is something you've said through social media and then regretted it?


A Facebook friend posted that he was going off to work as a polling place volunteer on either Election Day or Primary Day, and I posted something like "Good luck, and make sure you demand ID and do whatever you need to do to keep those pesky brown people from voting!" He's pretty liberal, so I figured he and his friends would recognize that I was mocking the GOP's jihad against 'voter fraud', none of which actually exists and which really gives rise to policies that just happen to also heavily discourage minority voters, who tend to vote for Democrats. My phrasing, though was not well-considered or well-received, so I apologized and deleted the comment. Not my finest moment online.

16. VH1 has re-introduced its hit show "Pop-Up Video," which gives behind-the-scenes facts for popular music videos. What musician would you be most interested in learning behind-the-scenes facts about?


John Williams. Or the Beatles.

17. If you stumbled across someone's personal written journal that was accidentally left in a public place, would you read any of the content?


That's tough...I think I'd thumb through it, in the hopes of seeing if I could find any identifying marks within it, so that I might try to contact the owner and return it to them. If it was completely anonymous, though...maybe I'd read it. I'm honestly not sure.

18. What is the title of a self-help book that you'd never want to see on a store bookshelf?

Finding the Super Model In Your Life, by Tom Brady.

19. Many media outlets have been asking this question a lot this week... Which Halloween costume do you think will be overdone this year?

Well, obviously this quiz has been knocking around for a few months. Right now I have no idea...but the idea of a bunch of kids dressed up as Mitt Romney is pretty unsettling.

20. Should a marriage license have a renewal date or expiration date, like a driver’s license?

Ye Gods, why would we want to do this? Is someone seriously suggesting this? As in, you have to renew by a certain date or your marriage simply ends? Is this an actual idea out there somewhere? It seems to me that this, far more than allowing gays to marry, would fundamentally alter the notion of what marriage is about.

And there, the quiz ends. Huzzah!

A Random Wednesday Conversation Starter

Questions go here! So far I'm not getting as many as usual...let's close up that gap, shall we?

200 Years of Dickens

Happy birthday to Charles Dickens!

"This just might be my masterpiece."

Pulp Fiction has been a favorite film of mine ever since it came out...which is why it strikes me as odd that until quite recently, it was the only Quentin Tarantino film I've seen since I first heard of him. All I've seen of Tarantino's work was Pulp Fiction and episodes of ER and CSI that he directed (both of which, very well, in my view). I did start to watch Kill Bill Volume One a few years ago but never finished it, for no real reason. And there I stopped, until I finally got around to watching Inglourious Basterds a month or so ago.

I loved this movie. Absolutely loved it. I loved it for what it is: a big, violent, gory, profane cartoon parody of jingoistic war movies.

Tarantino is not everyone's cup of tea. He tends to construct long scenes consisting of conversational duels that are punctuated by violence, and that's certainly on display here, several times, in sequences whose tension increases as Tarantino delays the violent payoff, and delays it again, and delays it still again. The very first scene does this, when a Gestapo commander drops in to visit a French farmer. His visit seems dull and routine; our Gestapo fellow at first doesn't seem terribly invested in what he's doing: searching for hiding Jews. He initially gives off an air of a man just going through the bureaucratic motions, and the farmer seems to be just answering his questions until he buggers off. But at some point it becomes clear that he's not going to bugger off, and that this dull Gestapo bureaucrat is anything but. As I thought back over this scene, I kept trying to pinpoint exactly when it is that this man, Colonel Landa, takes on an air of quiet malice, but he does. It's the most unsettling kind of malice, the smiling malice of a man who knows that his job is to mete out death and that he will do his job and then go home and go to bed at night.

This 'delaying of the payoff' recurs over and over again throughout the film, such as an extremely tense scene set in an basement tavern in France that never seems to end, or in a moment in a restaurant when a girl who is hiding the fact that she is a Jew finds herself at a table with Hermann Goering. In fact, this payoff-delaying tactic of Tarantino's shows up in the very first shot, as our French farmer watches the Nazis driving up his road. Watch this scene and realize, several times, that the Nazis should be there by now.

The seriousness of this scene contrasts with the sheer absurdity of the storyline that has a drawling American, Aldo Raine, recruiting a special team of assassins – out of Jewish-Americans – whose job will be nothing more than to operate in Europe and kill as many Nazis as possible, in as violent a way as possible, so that their reputation – the 'Basterds' – will reach back to Berlin and strike fear into the heart of the highest command, including Hitler himself. Raine's team and their casual acceptance of torture and execution is a bit unsettling, but there's also something weirdly exhilarating about it all. Maybe it's because it's the Nazis and we know that we can hate on them just fine, but Tarantino allows the 'rank and file' Nazis to have just enough personality that it's a bit unsettling when Raine uses his bowie knife to carve a swastika into the forehead of one of them ("I'm gonna give you something you can't take off"). But only a little.

And as usual, in a Tarantino film, so much of the weight is carried by the dialogue, such as when Raine realizes that a captive Nazi has decided to be defiant, so he shouts to one of his men: "We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!"

This parody material exists alongside a revenge story, as an escapee from the film's first scene later encounters Colonel Landa again (in a scene that made me realize that never has whipped cream looked creepier). She hatches a plan to do nothing more than kill Hitler himself. How? Well, he's coming to see a movie. In the theater she owns. She's going to get everyone in there, bar the doors, and set the theater on fire. I can only assume that this is an allusion to the infamous events at Oradour-sur-Glane.

Why is Hitler coming to France to see a movie? The film explains that, too, but I'd just as soon not get into it. The whole film is awash in odd coincidences, broad strokes, and scenes stitched together with narration by Samuel L. Jackson.

Since it's Tarantino, it's not unexpected that his knowledge of film history is going to come into play at some point. The key location of the second half of the film is a movie theater, a key plot point hinges on the flammability of film stock used in the 1940s, the timing of the plot hinges on a reel change, and so on. Tarantino's visual sense is as keen as ever; Inglourious Basterds includes one of the most striking visuals I've ever seen, as the movie keeps projecting onto clouds of smoke, creating swirling images of film in a film.

Ultimately the movie seems by turns serious and silly, which I think is rather the point; it's not unlike that old Captain America cover that has Cap punching Hitler's lights out. And it all helps that the film is acted almost perfectly. There isn't a single weak spot in the cast, so far as I can recall, and it's all grounded by Brad Pitt as Aldo Raine and Christoph Waltz (who won an Academy Award) as Colonel Landa. Even so, I think the best performance belongs to Melanie Laurent as Shoshanna, the escaped Jew who later gets her chance for revenge. She perfectly captures the tension of someone walking a tightrope as trying to maintain a secret identity, carry off a revenge plot, and fend off the advances of a smitten Nazi.

This film has a certain unsettling effect, because I found myself laughing at a lot of very violent death being meted out in large quantities against Nazis. But it's so over-the-top, so cartoonish, that ultimately I think that the film works best as gonzo comedy that is a blending of genres than anything else.

(Poster above via)

Stuff you can't make up if you try

I swear:

Broncos running back Knowshon Moreno was arrested for DUI in Denver while behind the wheel of a Bentley convertible with personalized license plates that read "SAUCED," KDVR-31 reported Monday.

Nothing I can add here.

Super Thoughts: Giants 21, Patriots 17

I'm thrilled to get to use this again:

Ahhhh, how sweet it is! Watching the Patriots lose just doesn't get old, folks. Nosiree Bob. Without further ado, some random thoughts on the game:

::  He's been retired and broadcasting for three or four years now, but I still want someone to take Rodney Harrison's knee out. What a goon he was as a player.

::  1st quarter tweet: "Mental errors by the Pats? But...but...I thought they were Gods of Football!!!"

Seriously, the Patriots looked sloppy early and they looked sloppy late. St. Tom giving up a safety on a panic throw to avoid a sack? Twelve men on the field? The Pats have a reputation for not playing that sloppily. I'm not sure the rep is as earned as it should be, but there it is. They put it back together, though, and played well for the second and third quarters, before getting sloppy again in the fourth, with Brady throwing the game's only interception (and only turnover, period) on an ill-advised, dumbass play and his receivers getting a bad case of the Drops.

:: I think that the best quarterbacks in football right now, in high-pressure situations, are most definitely Eli Manning and Ben Roethlisberger (last year's flat performance in the Super Bowl notwithstanding, and the Steelers were actually very competitive in that game after digging a surprising early hole). St. Tom's pressure-QB reputation is, for my money, not well-earned. He lost Super Bowl XLVI, Super Bowl XLII, and the 2006 AFC Championship games, despite having the ball for the last minute of each of those games (and in one of those, he only needed a field goal). And even going back to his "big winning drives" in Super Bowls XXXVI and XXXVIII, well...those were drives in which he took over with the score tied, so unless he turns the ball over, the worst thing that happens is the game goes to overtime. I think that the Myth of St. Tom took a big hit last night.

:: Put it another way: Joe Montana never lost a single Super Bowl, much less two Super Bowls. Joe Montana drove his team ninety-two yards for the winning touchdown in Super Bowl XXIII (yes, he had two minutes and change to do it in, but so what? He got the job done), and he also produced two Super Bowl blowouts in games in which he was supposed to produce Super Bowl blowouts. St. Tom is a great quarterback and will be a well-deserved Hall of Fame player. But the discussion of St. Tom as the 'best ever quarterback' is, for me, over.

:: Continuing a theme: I don't think that the Patriots are going to fall apart as a team, but I do think that this year is probably St. Tom's last, best chance to win a Super Bowl. He's going to be another year older, and like I've said before, physical decline comes to everyone, and it's going to come to him -- especially now that he's going into his twelfth year as a starter, who has also played more than twenty post-season games. That's literally packing an extra season-and-one-third into his career. It takes its toll, and I think we'll start seeing that toll before long. Brady likes to talk about playing until he's 40, but I'd bet that if he does, he's playing someplace else, because the physical decline will have become undeniable to the point that Belichick either trades or cuts him after drafting his heir-apparent.

:: Interesting article along those same lines:

Dynasties always believe they can last forever, until they begin to crumble. And their greatest men and fiercest warriors — their Tom Bradys — always believe in their own excellence and its nearly immutable power to make things work out as they’re supposed to.

Until they are bested enough times to know better.

“We just didn’t make enough plays,” Brady said. “We all wish we could have done a little bit more. It comes down to one play at the end. If we make it, we’re world champions; if we don’t, we wish we were.”

Yes, but the fact is the Patriots had to have it come down to one miracle play. And the Giants, in not getting beaten by the long-shot throw, may have shown Sunday that the Patriots’ time is over. Super Bowls are incredibly difficult to get to, even for teams that have made five of the past 11.

:: No one will mention it much because they've got three titles to their credit, but this Super Bowl loss means that the Bills, Vikings, and Broncos have new company in the "four-time Super Bowl loser" club. Huzzah!!

:: Cris Collinsworth wasn't as annoying as I thought he might be. But I did find it odd that at the end of the Giants' last drive, when the Giants were trying to put up the go-ahead points without leaving too much time on the clock, they mentioned that they might want to get a first-down at the 1 without scoring and then just run the clock all the way down until they have to kick the field goal...Al Michaels and Collinsworth kept discussing this whole series without mentioning that the Pats lost to the Bills back in Week Three on an identical situation.

:: Random goofy fact: Only six teams have lost to the Bills during the regular season and still gone on to win the Super Bowl. (This year's Giants are not one of those.)

:: Another random goofy fact: the AFC East is 2-9 in Super Bowls against NFC East teams. Ouch.

:: On the commercials: As usual, I don't care and pay little attention. I use commercials for their intended purpose: going to the bathroom, getting food, writing, checking Facebook, et cetera. The only ones I watched were a few of the movie trailers (none of which looked all that good, except for The Avengers), a pretty sappy Toyota Camry commercial, and a Clint Eastwood commercial for Chrysler that ratcheted up the "America, YAY!" to 11 and seemed to also be saying, "Hey, remember that Camry commercial from before? F*** those people." (But here's a thought: the fact that such a grittily optimistic ad could be aired this year might say something about the mood of the country that might, in turn, be good news for a certain sitting President.)

:: On the halftime show: I liked it a lot. It was actually a show, and featured an artist who is still producing new material and who wasn't content to just do a quick "greatest hits" thing. I loved the goofy Egyptian panoply, and I started Tweeting a bunch of Egyptian and Roman-related pop culture quotes, such as "Give my regards to King Tut, asshole!" (from Stargate) and "If you wanna find all the cops, they're hangin' out in the donut shops" (by the Bangles). Still, it was a really good show by Madonna. Color me impressed!

That's about all...except for these, because really, I could look at scenes like this all day:

Ahhhh! Thanks, 2011 NFL! Next up, free agency and the Draft. Football never stops! It just slows down a bit.

Sentential Links

Time for linkage...but first, Plinko!



OK, the links:

:: Not wanting to look at this girl directly (lest I be turned to stone) I quickly grabbed a shirt and walked fast to the counter. The T-shirt Girl running the till had heard what I did and we both smiled at each other with our shared secret. For a brief second, we were both in on the same joke.

:: Either way, Komen has stained their charity and it's going to stay stained when they inevitably cave in to right wing ideological demands again. (I, for one, will never support any Komen-based drive or program again. I will go out of my way to buy stuff without the pink ribbon on it, and I will not donate any money to them. They've proven what they're about. In all honesty, I was already down on Komen with their habit of sending teams of lawyers to enforce their trademark on the phrase "For the Cure", so that any mom-and-pop selling cupcakes in hopes of raising a few hundred bucks for some disease's respective research facility had to shut down or change their name. Along these lines, John Scalzi is doing some limited-time fundraising for Planned Parenthood.)

:: There is just something wonderful when Hubble points to nearby spiral galaxies. Sprawling and detailed, we get both great resolution on smaller features as well as a jaw-dropping overview of a grand spiral… like, say, NGC 1073: (Oh, wow....)

:: There were only two shots fired from Greg Stratton's .22 Magnum rifle. (If you've ever wondered what slaughtering a farm animal for meat looks like, this is the post for you. If not...then don't click.)

:: So I kind of grew up immersed in poetry (some of my older relatives used to recite poetry as well, having learned it in school). I recognize that some people did not. And yet, at the same time, I think the fact that I know it and like it isn't anything I should have to apologize for or be ashamed for.

:: I’m not a climber and I never will be. I love mountains, but I love the feeling of being in them, surrounded by them. I don’t feel the need to stand on top, to measure myself against them because, well, the mountain wins. Every time. I have no desire to climb Everest or anything else. My fascination is akin to the one I have for polar exploration–the extremes are just so mind-boggling, the bizarre things that this planet can throw up in the face of humans poking their heads into remote and untouched places.

:: I'm not gonna lie, folks: I had high hopes for this storyline after Rose got in her auto accident, and I can't help but feel a little disappointed by the way it all played out. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly want to see Rose careen off the highway and carve a swath of destruction through the playground at the Toledo School For Adorable But Tragically Blinded Orphans, I'm just saying that in this strip, that's actually a pretty likely outcome.

:: It was my favorite type of career. Long-lasting, diverse, a little bit chaotic, not overly managed, with moments of brilliance, moments of just good workmanship … and you can tell, you can just tell, that his career has been about acting, yes, but it was about forming relationships. (I hope that when I die, Sheila writes a tribute. Of course, this assumes that when the time comes, I have something to my name to form the meat of a Sheila O'Malley tribute....)

More next week.

Sunday Burst of Weird and Awesome

Oddities and Awesome abound!

:: The Fifteen Most Embarrassing Tom Brady Photos. Because mocking St. Tom never gets old! GO GIANTS!!!

:: In the unlikely event that I ever own a bookstore of my own, it will have a cat.

:: Here is the newest leader in my ongoing quest for the Greatest Thing Ever:

More next week!

Saturday Centus

Just a normal prompt this week! (Although I shouldn't say 'just' a normal prompt, as a lot of times it's been the seemingly simplest prompts that have tripped me up and made me take hours just to mull them over to come up with something.)

"And these are--?" asked the lady in the floppy hat.

"Peas," said Farmer Jimmy, behind his stall at the market. "Two peas in every pod."

"Two?"

"Two. Two peas in a pod."

"Only two?"

"Yessum...but these peas are three inches in diameter."

"These peas are genetically modified, aren't they?"

"Don't think so. Just good old SuperMegaTechnoCorp seed."

"OK, thanks." And the lady moved on to the next stall, not even looking at Farmer Jimmy's football apples. The exact size and shape, naturally, of a regulation football.

"Hippie farmers with their organic food," Jimmy growsed. "Probably wear tie-dye under their overalls, too."

And hey, Centusians, feel free to participate in my twice-annual Ask Me Anything! festival, in which you get to...well, you know.

Oh, Tom, Tom, Tom.... (Answers the first!)

So usually I wait until the second half of the month to start giving answers to "Ask Me Anything!" questions, but Roger has a couple that are time sensitive, pertaining as they do to the impending Super Bowl. So here they are:

Why do you hate Tom Brady so much?

Hoo boy. You know, I was all prepared with this answer. I was going to write about how I don't hate Tom Brady personally, because it's not like I know him or anything, and that more than anything else, my hatred for Brady is the "sports fan's hatred of the other guy". You know, it's how sports fans feel about that one guy who always seems to have your team's number, no matter what. It's like how Boston sports fans likely felt for years about Bucky Dent or Mookie Wilson.

But then, St. Tommy had to go and open his mouth at a Super Bowl press thing the other day, in the context of talking about how his father has made all kinds of sacrifices to follow his son's football career:

"He's been there every step of the way," Brady said of his dad. "Then I went to school a long ways from home, and he and my mom were there at every home football game that they could possibly be at and a lot of road games, too. And even when I started my pro career, he traveled to Buffalo. I don't know if you guys have ever been to the hotels in Buffalo -- they're not the nicest places in the world -- but he would travel to those."

Wow. Thanks for that, Tom.

Now, most of the folks I follow online – few of whom blog anymore, and most of whom are on Twitter, which makes me sad – are of the "Who cares what some football player thinks" camp, or the "Hey, he's just telling the truth, because Buffalo kind of sucks" camp, or a combination of both camps. This goes along with "Geez, Buffalo, do you gotta get so upset any time somebody says something mean about your city?" And those folks are right.

But still...yeah. I hear you, folks. I really do. But still: f*** Tom Brady.

Here's why: There was really no reason for it. He didn't need to say it. Buffalo wasn't part of the conversation in any way, until he cited it as an example of awful hardships his father has had to endure in the purpose of following his son's career. "Hey, he's come to Buffalo. That's a commitment!" And he said it on an enormous media stage.

Look, I am well aware that Buffalo isn't the nicest city in the world, or even the country, or even the state. I'm well aware that this city's warts are openly displayed for all to see. I'm well aware that this city continues to rust and crumble while we continually shoot ourselves in the foot, development-wise. But that doesn't mean that I should be happy to hear continued use of my city, my home, as a national short-hand for "crappy cesspool of a city" to which no one in their right mind would want to go unless it's for business and you're only going to be there for the shortest time possible.

Here's the bottom line: We get to say these things. Brady doesn't. At least, not for me. The "Brady is right and it shouldn't matter" crowd will have to bear with me if I'm not willing to say "Thank you, Mr Brady, may I have another?" on this one. Harumph!

There's also some rhetoric going around that this kind of thing – the impression our city makes on visiting athletes who are in town for a game – is part of what keeps star players from entertaining Buffalo as a possible spot for when they are free agents. To this I say, simply, nonsense. Look, I know that the view from the Kensington Expressway into downtown from the airport isn't terribly inspiring. But in my experience there's not a city in the world that doesn't have such a route, somewhere. I read things like this – "Buffalo's hotels aren't super nice and the town's nightlife isn't terribly exciting" – and I think, "Huh. Does Green Bay hear things like this?"

Probably not...and the reason why is glaringly obvious. Why don't star players avoid Green Bay like the plague and refuse to entertain the possibility of signing there? Because Green Bay has a team that wins. Buffalo does not. I guarantee that as long as the Bills are here, it won't matter how the city looks: if the team gets good again, players will be more willing to sign here.

So: Why do I hate Tom Brady? Because he's great and he kicks my team's ass constantly. Because he lives a ridiculously charmed life. Because as great as he clearly is, I still think he's overrated; he's never really produced a signature win and a huge moment that will live in sports lore forever, there's nothing he's ever done that makes me think, "Wow, I remember when Tom Brady did ____"; I tire of the man-crushes that many sports commentators have on the guy.

Here's a true story: I've always thought that NBC's Cris Collinsworth has been overly obsessive about Brady, and that he brings Brady into conversations entirely too often, whether the discussion involves the Patriots or not. I mentioned this once on Facebook, and another friend disagreed, saying that Collinsworth simply has a lot of respect for one of the game's best players. Fine. Except that during last year's Winter Olympics, Collinsworth at one point presented a profile piece he'd done on short-track speed skater Apollo Anton Ohno, after which he said to Bob Costas and those of us at home, "Apollo Anton Ohno really reminds me of Tom Brady."

GAHHH!!!

So there's why I hate Tom Brady. (Kinda sorta. I mean, I'm sure he loves his mother.)

Oh, and a prediction? I really don't like offering predictions, but I'll offer a hope: Giants 30, Patriots 16. Not only do I want Brady to lose, but I want him to lose fairly convincingly. I want his defeat to be large enough that no one can whitewash this game for him if he does lose. I don't think a blow-out is likely, but if Brady loses by 10-14 points and only puts up pedestrian numbers – say, 200 yards, 1 TD, 2 picks – it'll make me feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy inside. But I guess it's OK if he wins his fourth, tying him with Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw. After all, neither one of those guys ever lost a Super Bowl.

And hey, folks, questions aren't exactly flying in the door yet, so Ask Me Anything!

Something for Thursday

One of the people with whom I graduated high school was a guy named Dave Donavon. Dave was never particularly a friend of mine, but he wasn't someone I disliked, either; for whatever reason, I just never got to know him all that well. We weren't in a whole lot of classes together, and I wasn't much of a social animal back then anyway, preferring to spend Friday nights hanging out at home. Dave was a good guy whom I didn't know all that well. Come to that, virtually my entire high school graduating class was good people I didn't know all that well. I'm not sure, now, how I feel about that. I don't really regret hanging out at home, reading and watching movies and writing, but I do wonder if I missed out on some awfully cool stuff when I read people on FB saying things like, "Hey, remember when...."

Dave, sadly, suffered a heart attack and died earlier this week. Naturally, in this age we're in, I learned about this via Twitter and Facebook, and a lot of the folks I'm friends with on FB from that era are posting their memories of Dave. I honestly don't have any, but it still saddens me...Dave was 40 years old, the same age as me. Judging by photos, he had roughly the same body type as me right about now. And he is, to my knowledge, the first of our graduating class to die. I suppose we're lucky in that regard, but it's also a function of being a fairly small school where the graduating class numbered around 100.

I remember that Dave was into hard rock quite a bit back in the day, and really, hard rock's a bug you don't tend to get over, even as you discover other music later in life. According to my friend Andy -- also from high school, and a guy who knew everybody -- Dave's favorite band was Van Halen, which means that Dave and I would have had some stuff to talk about right there, had any conversations happened. So, in memory of Dave Donavon, here is Van Halen with "Dreams".

Fixing the Prequels: Revenge of the Sith (part two)

part one

When last we left our intrepid Jedi – months and months ago – they they had just made their way through an immense space battle to land on General Grievous's ship, through which they must now make their way to find the captive Chancellor Palpatine. This is pretty standard "infiltrate the enemy ship" stuff, but it's all pretty fun to watch anyway, because Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen actually have pretty good chemistry together. In this whole sequence, I like how Christensen portrays Anakin as more self-assured, more confident, but less obviously-arrogant than he had been in Attack of the Clones. The effect goes a long way to highlight the tragedy of Anakin's later fall from grace.

(Before I go on, I should note the very long stall in this series of posts, with an apology for those who actually enjoy reading this stuff. My reasons are the usual whiny "Nobody knows I'm doing this, but that Red Letter Media turd gets all kinds of love whenever he speaks!" stuff. So let's just stipulate all that and move on, shall we? OK!)

R2-D2 is another part of the puzzle here, and he has his own problems. He is trying to lie low when a couple of battle droids enter the landing bay, but his efforts are stymied by the fact that Obi Wan keeps talking to him, very loudly, via the commlink. Thus R2 is distracted at several points where Obi Wan and Anakin would find having a droid plugged into the computer system fairly convenient.

All of this is pretty standard Star Wars derring-do as Obi Wan and Anakin make their way to the observation deck where they suspect Palpatine is being helped. I find it all a lot of fun to watch, and it could have been even longer, what with some deleted scenes from this sequence that are available on the DVD. In one scene, our two Jedi heroes wind up in the ship's giant fuel pipes; in another, they are surrounded by droids and communicate with one another with baseball-coach type hand signals. These scenes are fun to watch, and I'm glad they're on the DVD, but I don't think they would have added much to the proceedings except for some fun action material. This entire sequence of the film takes an impressive bit of time, though, which is probably a good chunk of why it needed trimming.

Here again, by the way, we see R2 using his rockets that AOTC revealed, and yet another new gizmo: R2 has a supply of oil which he's able to squirt on the battle droids and all over the ground before setting it on fire. As usual, a lot of Star Wars fans complained about this, but also as usual, I'm fine with it. For one thing, I rather like what is now something of a gag, which is that each time there's a new Star Wars movie, we see something else that R2 can do. And what's also nice is that really, none of these particular abilities is particularly outlandish given what an R2 unit essentially is: a robotic space mechanic. You know how, within reason and given the right set of attachments, you can do pretty much anything with a Dremel rotary tool or Multi-Max? Well, that's what R2 is: a big, intelligent, Dremel tool. (Hmmmm...Dremel's colors are blue and silver, not unlike a certain droid...hmmmm....)

The other thing that stands out in this entire sequence, once we land on the ship, is that there's no music at all. We have music and all manner of sound effects when Obi Wan and Anakin are flying their ships through the space battle, but once we're on General Grievous's cruiser itself, there is no music at all: just ambient sounds of machines and distant explosions and wind in the elevator shafts and so on.

Our two Jedi reach the observation deck and find Palpatine there, restrained to a chair that looks a lot like the throne he will later use in Return of the Jedi. The room is bounded on all sides by giant windows that are overlooking the space battle. Now Dooku enters, and after a bit of preliminary boasting, the lightsaber battle begins:

OBI-WAN: (bows) Chancellor.

ANAKIN: Are you all right?

PALPATINE: (quietly) Count Dooku.

PALPATINE makes a small gesture with his hand. OBI-WAN and ANAKIN turn around. The elevator DOORS CAN BE HEARD OPENING AND CLOSING as COUNT DOOKU strides into the room. He is above the Jedi, standing on a balcony, with two SUPER BATTLE DROIDS. The Jedi turn to see him. He looks down on the Jedi. 

OBI-WAN: (quietly to Anakin) This time we will do it together.

ANAKIN: I was about to say that.

COUNT DOOKU jumps down to the main level. 

PALPATINE: Get help! You're no match for him. He's a Sith Lord.

OBI-WAN: Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our specialty.

OBI-WAN and ANAKIN throw off their cloaks and ignite their lightsabers. 

COUNT DOOKU: Your swords, please, Master Jedi. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.

OBI-WAN and ANAKIN move toward DOOKU.

OBI-WAN: You won't get away this time, Dooku.

OBI-WAN and ANAKIN charge COUNT DOOKU. A great sword fight ensues.

COUNT DOOKU: I've been looking forward to this.

ANAKIN: My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count.

COUNT DOOKU: Good. Twice the pride, double the fall. 

I really like this scene...all of it. Especially the little reference to their last confrontation with Dooku, at the end of AOTC, when Anakin decided to charge in by himself and got tossed aside for his trouble. They lost that duel because they didn't work together; this time, Anakin is willing to wait. But he hasn't grown up too much; he is still willing to boast about the growth of his powers.

What happens next is something of a pitched duel in which it still seems that Dooku is their better; he again manages to toss Anakin aside, and then he again incapacitates Obi Wan. But this time, Anakin is much stronger and holds his own...only merely that, until Dooku says something else:

COUNT DOOKU: (continuing) I sense great fear in you, Skywalker. You have hate, you have anger, but you don’t use them.

This goading of Anakin proves ill-advised for Dooku, as he immediately uses his hate and his anger. A minute later, he cuts off Dooku's hands and takes his saber, now holding two blades at the neck of the helpless Count. He knows that a Jedi is probably supposed to be merciful in such a situation, but Palpatine, laughing, tells Anakin: "Kill him. Kill him now."

This is a deeply chilling moment. Palpatine's warmth – feigned though we know it was in the previous two films – disappears instantly as Palpatine says "Kill him." And when Anakin hesitates, Palpatine allows his coldest, harshest tone to come forth: "Do it."

And Anakin does. Right there, with Palpatine looking on and with Dooku's eyes wide as he realizes he's just been betrayed, Anakin beheads the helpless Count.

Now this dialogue:

PALPATINE: You did well, Anakin. He was too dangerous to be kept alive.

ANAKIN drops COUNT DOOKU's lightsaber, moving to PALPATINE. 

ANAKIN: Yes, but he was an unarmed prisoner.

ANAKIN raises his hands toward PALPATINE, who is strapped in the Admiral's Chair. The Chancellor's restraints pop loose. 

ANAKIN: (continuing) I shouldn't have done that, Chancellor. It's not the Jedi way.

PALPATINE stands up, rubbing his wrists. 

PALPATINE: It is only natural. He cut off your arm, and you wanted revenge. It wasn't the first time, Anakin. Remember what you told me about your mother and the Sand People. Now, we must leave before more security droids arrive. 

Something interesting happens here, something easy to miss. As noted, this scene takes place in an enormous observation room with giant windows on all sides, so that during the entire lightsaber duel, we can see the space battle raging in the sky beyond; and occasionally, we hear the sounds of ships as they fly by very close to the windows. At the moment that Palpatine refers to Anakin's mother's fate at the hands of the Sandpeople, there is a sound that could very well be a ship in space outside*, or it could be the cry of one of the Sandpeople. It's a little aural reminder of what has gone before...and Palpatine is already starting to lay the groundwork for Anakin's temptation to the Dark Side of the Force.

But what's really interesting is that Palpatine allows Dooku to start that particular ball rolling, with his line about Anakin having hate, anger, but not using them. I always wonder...has Palpatine already decided to start working on Anakin's conversion? Or has he just now realized the potential of what he has in Anakin?

In AOTC, Palpatine manipulated the Jedi Council to assign Obi Wan and Anakin to the protection of Padme following the assassination attempt. Was he doing that with the intent of pushing Anakin's emotions to the fore, with temptation in mind, or was he simply working to sow seeds of dissent and distrust within the Jedi order? I might lean to the latter, except that we know that Palpatine has made good on his word to young Anakin from the end of TPM ("We will watch your career with great interest."). It's significant that Anakin has shared the dark secret of what happened to his mother – and what he did after that – with Palpatine.

As this scene ends, Anakin picks up the incapacitated Obi Wan and slings him over his shoulder, over Palpatine's objections that they don't have time to dally over him. "His fate will be our own," says Anakin, and they start making their way back down to the landing bay.

Of course, this is a Star Wars film, so they don't get there. They encounter some more trouble with elevators, this time when the cruiser they are on takes heavy fire and starts to aim straight down toward the planet, throwing off the perspective. Anakin and Palpatine enter an elevator shaft and start running down the walls, which are now the floors, since the ship is dropping straight down. But then the bridge crew gets things under control again, causing the ship to level back out again...which means that the walls of the elevator shaft are now walls again. Needless to say, they get out of this predicament, just as Obi Wan wakes back up; then they are back in a deserted corridor and trying to get back to the landing bay when they are imprisoned by something called "ray shields". After Obi Wan protests "How did this happen? We're smarter than this!", Anakin suggests that they just patiently wait for R2D2 to come along and release them. Obi Wan is surprised that Anakin is suggesting patience, but the plan goes awry when R2 does, in fact, arrive...with a whole bunch of warrior droids with him. "Do you have a plan B?" Obi Wan asks...and that's where I'll stop for this time.

If it seems like I haven't done much 'fixing' in a series called 'Fixing the Prequels', well, it's generally because I think that the entire opening sequence of RotS is as masterfully done as anything in the entire Star Wars saga. There's just nothing to fix here, but a lot to admire. Don't worry, though; we'll start fixing stuff next time out. In that installment we will deal with General Grievous, reunite two young lovers, and start to get hints of Darth Sidious's plan to lower the shroud of the Dark Side over everything. Tune in! (And it won't take the better part of a year to get there, either.)

* I know, I know, "Sound can't travel in space". For the purposes of Star Wars...actually, for most filmed SF in general...I just don't care.

Ask Me Anything!

Yup, folks, it's February, which means that it's time once again for Ask Me Anything!, wherein I throw open the doors to all comers who may wish to pose questions of goofy sort, or serious sort, or any kind of sort you can imagine. All questions and queries are welcome, so bring 'em on! This is your chance, folks!

Questions may be left in comments to this post, or if you prefer, you can certainly e-mail me (jaquandor AT gmail DOT com). Or send 'em via Facebook. Or Tweet 'em at me (make sure to put the '@jaquandor' thing in there, or I'll never see it). Or even in comments on Flickr, if you like. Lots of options here to make things easy.

I'll have more to say about it later in the month, but February 2012 marks ten years I've been blogging, so let's make this iteration of Ask Me Anything! a real hootenanny! (Or a lollapalooza. Or a shindig. Whichever.)

So...Ask Me Anything!

A Random Wednesday Conversation Starter

I can't believe I'm going to do this, but I just can't resist it. I'm going to steal an entire post from someone else. And not just the idea for the post, but the entire actual post. I hope you don't mind, Cal! (And if you want to comment over there rather than here, I'll completely respect that.)

Anyway, here are some burgers. Assuming that (a) you eat meat, (b) you like burgers, and (c) you see these on the menu somewhere, which one do you order?