My guest's pants are on fire! Good thing this is radio....

I don't know if I've ever heard more dishonesty from an NPR guest than what I heard from a guy named Tim Searcy on yesterday's Talk of the Nation. (As of this writing, the link to the segment itself isn't working.) Who is Tim Searcy? He's the Executive Director of the American Teleservices Association - - which means he's the Telemarketer-in-Chief.

This guy was incredible. He kept spouting the nonsense about how the telemarketing industry will lose two million jobs over this, which is an absurd figure, really; and he seemed to know how absurd it was, because he kept bringing up sympathetic imagery, pointing out that it's single moms and minorities who are doing the calling. Here's why he was so dishonest:

:: Little mention was made of the sorts of calling that will still be allowed. Non-profit organizations can still call, politicians can still call, and the big one that doesn't get mentioned: companies with whom you have an established business relationship can call. And that last one is pretty hazy, because it doesn't take much at all to establish a "prior business relationship". You know all those forms you sign when you buy any appliance bigger than, say, a toaster? Those will establish business relationships. And what else might, I wonder? If you subscribe to TIME Magazine, does that mean you have a business relationship with AOL-Time-Warner? And if so, does that mean that you're open to calls from all of their respective marketing departments? I'm not entirely sure, to be honest, but I have my suspicions.

:: Business-to-business calling isn't going anywhere, either.

:: I can't speak for other locales, but the telemarketing firms in Buffalo are always hiring, not just for outgoing cold calls but for research calls (I'm not sure if these will be forbidden by the List), and for collections calls (which are subject to regulation that is separate from the Do-Not-Call List), but also for inbound customer service calls. Believe me, the call centers aren't going to be locking the doors anytime soon.

:: The Do-Not-Call List applies to specific phone numbers, not to families. So if you're signed up, and you move in two years and therefore get a new number, guess what! You can get called again. And believe me, they're going to be on top of it. Especially since the List is set up so that there is a lag period between when you sign up for the List and when they have to stop calling you. People move a lot in this country.

:: Finally, the "We'll lose two million jobs" argument. That would pretty much double the number of jobs lost in the current economic morass, wouldn't it? Does anyone really believe that the Do-Not-Call List will do more damage to the telemarketing industry than has befallen manufacturing in general in this country? What a doltish argument.

What was most depressing was that host Neil Conan made no effort to challenge this guy on his numbers. Good Lord. I love to listen to NPR, but sometimes they really do bend over backwards to be nice, and it's annoying when they do. (Granted, I did not hear the entire show, so I may actually be wrong on this point. When I get a chance to listen to the whole segment, once it's available, if I'm wrong here I'll retract.) One caller in to the segment did challenge the numbers, and this Searcy guy very nicely dodged by saying something like "That's wrong on so many levels", and then retreating to "If you support this list, you are objectively pro-tossing the single mommy on the street" nonsense.