Christmas is such a time of emotion, isn't it? It's almost certainly our most emotional holiday. I really think it is. Nearly every emotion the heart produces has a home in Christmas, and that includes the sad ones, too. I've not yet met the person who wasn't at least a little bit reflective at Christmastime, some more than others to be sure, but...in amidst the joys of this season, it seems terribly natural to me to also think of choices not made, roads not taken, lives not lived. It's not always bad, even, but there are moments of sparkling sadness when I wonder what else I might have done.
This shouldn't imply dissatisfaction, although for some people, I suppose it does. But I can't imagine that the happiest person, the person most satisfied with the warp and weft of their time on Earth, doesn't at least once in a while glance back and wonder:
"Is she happy now?"
"What if he had lived?"
"Why didn't I accept that offer?"
"Would they be proud of what I've done?"
These feelings always bubble up at Christmastime, and I'm not entirely sure why. Lots of reasons, I suppose -- the holiday's sacred undertones, whether you believe or not; the timing, putting this season at the end of the year, so you can't help feeling the weight of more time behind you. I wonder if Christmas would feel a little less melancholy if it took place in January.
Anyhow, "Same Old Lang Syne" famously recounts the tale of when Dan Fogelberg had a chance encounter in a convenience store with an old girlfriend from years before. They spend the night catching up, talking about where their lives have gone, the good and the less good. There's no affair here, no one-night stand -- they meet by chance, they talk a while, they part -- and Fogelberg sings of remembering "that old familiar pain", which is such a perfect way to put it.
"Same Old Lang Syne" absolutely is a Christmas song, because it expresses something true about Christmas. It's not all about jolly elves and babes in mangers. It can't be, because we're human and we humans bring an awful lot of messy stuff to the table.
Oh, and the song is really best listened to in the car. Even if it's in a parking lot with the engine off.
And for those wondering, yes, the song was inspired by very real events.
Now that I'm older, I'm more reflective at Christmas than I was in the past, but I guess that's only natural. Mostly, I miss my dad. I also miss those six busy Christmases that I worked with the symphony--the parties at the maestro's house, producing Nutcracker, and singing in The Messiah. When I wax truly reflective, I think about the Christmas of my business dealings with a certain superstar and, yes, you're right. I wonder about the choices made back then and how things might be different today had other ones been made. It's hard to see myself in any other outcome than the one I'm experiencing though, regardless of how fanciful I might imagine them.
I love this song! There are a couple of people I'd love to see again in exactly this way--sharing a six-pack and memories in a car while the snow falls around us.
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