Openly Judging You

This (.pdf warning) may be the greatest judicial ruling ever written. Or maybe not. I'd have to read others by this same fellow to be sure. It's the final ruling in a divorce case that has apparently been extremely acrimonious, and the judge's response (the Hon. J.W. Quinn, of St. Catherines, ON -- just about a 35 minute drive from Casa Jaquandor, depending on the border crossings!), in the end, is to fill his ruling with lots of dry wit. The very first sentence is "Paging Dr. Freud. Paging Dr. Freud." And check out the bits during a section wherein he details the various death threats made against the husband by the wife and her family.

:: After noting that Larry (the husband) has provided evidence that Catherine (the wife) tried to run over him with the family van, the judge notes in a footnote: "This is always a telltale sign that a husband and wife are drifting apart."

:: When noting a threat that Larry would "end up floating in the canal dead", the judge notes this by saying, "A nautical theme was added."

:: He closes this section thusly: "As can be seen, Catherine and her relatives are one-dimensional problem solvers."

Read through this thing. It is terrific!

(The title of this post is a shout-out to a Twitter- and Tumblr-mate of mine who goes by the handle "Silently Judging You". Greetings, SJY, if you read this!)