Shorter Kim Du Toit

If you're smart, then screw you, because my essay was meant only for people as dumb as me.

(Link)

The "Heart of Stone" Test

Read this Patrick Nielsen Hayden post, and then see if your eyes are tearing up. If not, you are either heartless or Klingon (because they have no tear ducts).

No! You can't make me devolve! I won't be a microbe again!

I pay attention to my ranking in the TTLB Ecosystem on a daily basis. (Right now, I'm a Marauding Marsupial.) Yeah, that sounds kind of anal and geeky; after all, the Ecosystem merely tallies the number of member blogs in the Ecosystem that link to your own blog, and it doesn't necessarily have much to do with actual readership. (It can get a little disheartening to check Sitemeter, see that I've had a lot of hits, and then upon checking the referrals discover that they're all Google search hits.) But it only takes about ten seconds to check the Ecosystem rankings, they're only updated once a day (so checking it a bunch of times throughout the day would be stupid), and it is a fun way to track the growth of one's blog, much like the Technorati Link Cosmos.

But now, I see via Lynn Sislo that some kind of folderol is going on in which some blogger or group of bloggers is involved in collusion to drive up their own rankings (details here and here). This is, as Lynn and the Bear note, a rather silly exercise that is really unlikely to generate traffic, if that's what the participants are intending. Believe me, I know: I check my hits any number of times throughout the day (again, geeky and all, but also again, it takes all of five seconds), and frankly I can't remember the last time I got a hit off the Ecosystem page. And for those bloggers in the top 100, they're there because they have so many inbound links that this is how they generate traffic. Trying to artificially "move up" in the Ecosystem really isn't likely to pave the way to huge traffic and respect in Blogistan. It's the blogging equivalent of all those people who think that success in writing is a function of having the right agent, knowing the right people, or getting Stephen King (or Steven Den Beste) to read your manuscript and give it the green light to the folks on the inside.

Yes, I have done a massive-link post as a way of giving a fellow blogger a "boost" in the Ecosystem; in fact, I did it a couple of weeks ago, on Morat's behalf, but I think it was pretty clear that I was doing that as a one-time throw-away thing (and more importantly, because I really do think that Morat runs a fine blog that could do with more readership). And yes, I know that it can be frustrating to blog one's heart out and have the posts-of-wisdom go unnoticed by the SDB's and the Atrios's and the Reynolds's of the world. What's even more frustrating is when I, having blogged for nearly two years now, see someone from Kevin Drum's comments section start their own blog and get a front-page mention on his on their "launch day", which almost immediately sends their traffic surging higher than what I've managed to build in two years with no such connections. But them's the breaks.

Just a few more random thoughts about the Ecosystem and such:

:: I pretty much agree with everything the Bear writes, except for his rather ham-handed attempt to describe the whole "League of Liberals" scheme in the light of liberal politics. It's a goofy scheme, but let's not try to make it into some larger lesson about liberals in general.

:: Here's something weird: when I glanced briefly at the League of Liberals blog, I decided to check their Sitemeter, at the bottom. Strangely, the Sitemeter on the League's blog doesn't link the League's Sitemeter stats; rather, it links the stats of a blog called Rush Limbaughtomy, which in turn has five Sitemeter links at the bottom, one of which actually is for the League. What is the point of doing all that?

:: Finally, a brief thought on the Ecosystem's functionality. I don't know anything about such things, so maybe it would be too difficult for this to be done, but perhaps the rankings might be more accurate if "dead blogs" could be somehow weeded out. To cite my favorite example, William Burton's blog has not been updated in ten months, so should blogs he linked way-back-when still get credit for those links?

UPDATE: Well, on the first of my "additional thoughts" above, where I take the Bear to task for trying to draw some lesson about liberalism from all this, it turns out that he was actually responding to one of the Conspirator's attempts to do the same. Guess I should have, you know, "read the whole thing". Yeep!

Veterans' Day

Someday I must make it to Arlington National Cemetery, where so many veterans now rest.



Thanks to all veterans, from all wars.

And for those interested in Armistice Day, the precursor to Veterans' Day, Teresa Nielsen Hayden has enough linkage to happily explore for days.

"We were together since the War began.
He was my servant -- and the better man."

(Rudyard Kipling)

(Arlington link via Lynn Sislo.)

Ewwwwwwwwww....

Last night's Monday Night Football game had the Philadelphia Eagles visiting the Green Bay Packers at Wisconsin's historic Lambeau Field. Now, anyone familiar with the upper Midwest knows that the "brat", or bratwurst, is one of the major food groups. These wonderful sausages are grilled and then consumed in a roll, preferably with brown mustard. A lot of folks like to further supplement them with sauerkraut, which is -- well, it's not my favorite thing. I love meat that's been cooked in sauerkraut, but the 'kraut itself is not my cup of tea.

Well, apparently the concessions folks at Lambeau field go through a lot of bratwurst, which in turn means that they go through a lot of sauerkraut -- so much so, that at one point ABC's telecast cut to a shot of two guys standing in what appeared to be a giant vat, wearing hip-waders and using pitchforks to transfer what looked like a ton (literally) of sauerkraut from a tractor-pulled wagon into the vat. I can only imagine what that smelled like.

UPDATE: Apparently, what they were showing wasn't some "Sauerkraut Loading Dock" at Lambeau Field, but a factory where the stuff is made. Leave it to a Vikings fan to set me straight about something in Packer-land!

Ah, that's better!

The news isn't all bad, though, for lovers of fine blogs and fast cars and....well, fine blogs. A longtime commenter and reader of mine, Michelle, has finally succumbed to my ever-increasing pressure and launched her own blog, Apprentice Contrarian. What to say about Michelle? Well, she loves Guy Gavriel Kay and Star Wars, and she already has a few intelligent posts up with many to come. Go, read, link.

As Victor Laszlo said, "Welcome back to the fight. This time I know our side will win." And in the immortal words of Socrates, "I drank what?"

Geez, and still emptier....

OK, I hope Sheila didn't start a mass-exodus or something. Now Holly Lisle is abandoning her Blogistan homestead as well. Holly was never my favorite writer/blogger -- her politics were so far from mine I couldn't really bridge the gap in thought -- but her writing-stuff is largely superb. Best of luck to her, too.

Blogistan seems emptier this morning....

I don't recall when I started reading Sheila's blog, StarLines, or how I found it. I know that it was fairly early on in my own blogging "career", and I suspect that it was pure serendipity on my part -- just clicking on one of those "Recently Published" blogs listed on the Blogger main page, perhaps. But since then, she's been a daily read of mine, nearly every morning, providing not just inspiration for this writer-in-progress (a better term than "aspiring writer", because dammit, a writer writes and I'm writing) but a look at what life is really like for the "working stiffs" who don't generate King or Rowling or Grisham-like first press runs. She's been a daily reminder of the work.

Until now.

Sheila has sadly decided to hang 'em up and concentrate on those pesky books and stories and whatnot, and while I can't quibble with her decision -- well, I can quibble with it, but hey, what's the use? -- I hope she'll at least consider a sporadic "Hey, wish you were here" type of post, like that blank postcard Red gets from Andy at the end of The Shawshank Redemption. (I also hope that the whole "Luddite" thing didn't end up being the final grain set on the side of the balance that was leaning toward "Quit blogging".)

Anyway, Sheila, best of luck, and I'll try to track down as many of your books as I can (you're not making it easy, what with eight pseudonyms spread across eleven genres!). I hope you'll continue to drop by here once in a while -- especially on that inevitable day when I finally post news of my first sale. Otherwise, I might just have to start up some underground rumors that you're attending SF conventions again. Who knows? Maybe in SF circles, "SL Viehl sightings" will take on an Elvis-like air of legend!

Three Weeks....

....until the arrival of this small item in all your finer retail outlets:



Reviews here and here, the latter with sound clips. (Also, maddeningly, the latter makes at least one mistake: they identify the meter of the very first clip as being 3/4 time, which it is not: it is standard 2/4, duple time.

A Service to my Readers.

I love you all, Dear Readers. You know that. But I feel that I must be honest with you, as only a true friend can be, so here goes:

You are inadequate. If you doubt me, go here, put in your age, peruse the results, and accept your cosmic inadequacy.

But it's all good, because the rub here is that I am cosmically inadequate too. (Among other things, I'm just four years shy of the age Mozart had reached when he shuffled off this mortal coil.) So remember Sturgeon's Law, folks: we're all in the lower 90%!

(via, who else, John Scalzi.)

Heh. Indeed.

Via The Modulator I see the definitive takedown of Kim DuToit's incredibly stupid "Won't someone please think of the men!" string-o'-paragraphs. Not much to add, except to wonder if (a) Glenn Reynolds will ever read it, and (b) why don't I ever get linked by Atrios on the rare occasion that I write something penetrating and wise? Oh, woe is me....

Stick a fork in 'em....

Yeah, I think that the Bills are done now. They're unlikely to make the playoffs now, after losing to the Cowboys yesterday 10-6. Strange thing is, I'm not sure how to react now. Sure, I could be a typical football fan and get all mad and stuff, but I don't much see the point: I'd already decided that the Bills faced an uphill battle to get to the playoffs, and that their current coaching staff just doesn't seem up to the task of mounting such an uphill battle. I think they'll finish with no better than a 9-7 record, and the division will go -- Lord help me -- to the Patriots.

Yesterday's loss was the type of loss that, had it happened in the first month of the season, wouldn't be discouraging, really. The defense played very well, the running game showed some life, etc. But after two months of sporadic offense and road-blowouts, the Pyrrhic victory of hanging tough with a good team on the road ain't much to get excited about. Thoughts:

:: OK, I'm finally starting to fall off the Drew Bledsoe bandwagon. Two lost fumbles and general ineffectiveness will do that. But also, it's November. Shouldn't that young offensive line be showing some improvement at pass-protection? Can't they ever pick up a blitz? If you're an offensive coach, and your quarterback is a guy whose effectiveness drops like a rock whenever the pocket collapses, wouldn't you do everything in your power to keep the pocket from collapsing?

:: Another game with just one sack of the opposing QB by the Buffalo defense. They have to get a passrusher in the offseason. It is a moral imperative.

:: And for Heaven's sakes, when are the Bills' defenders going to start catching the ball instead of deflecting it? By my count, they had at least two instances of plays where the defender would have been able to run unimpeded into the end zone had they merely intercepted the ball instead of knocking it down. Maybe the Bills' current defenders don't give up lots of yards, but I think back to the days of Kurt Schulz, Nate Odomes and Mark Kelso and I remember that if those guys were in a position to pick off the ball, they picked the damn thing off.

:: My complaint this week about Buffalo News columnist extraordinaire is this: he referred yesterday to "the Bill Parcells Myth". Now, I'm not sure if he meant this to suggest that Parcells is overrated, but I don't like Jerry so I'll charitably assume the worst. Bill Parcells is a damned genius, as far as I'm concerned. The guy's on his fourth franchise, he has taken over each team in a moribund state and propelled each of them to respectability. His Giants won two Super Bowls in five years. He took over a 1-15 Patriots squad and rebuilt them on-the-fly, getting them to the Super Bowl in three years. (They lost the game, but they played the Packers tough before finally bowing to a superior team.) He didn't get the Jets to the Super Bowl, but he got them to the AFC Championship Game in 1998. Now he's got Dallas at 7-2, and the last time the Cowboys were 7-2 was also the last year they won the Super Bowl. NFL history is studded with coaches who worked wonders with one franchise but couldn't translate their success to another franchise; Parcells has done it everywhere he's been. That's no myth. That's history.

Other football babbling:

:: When the season ends and the Bills are in the market for a new head coach, I hope they don't hire the Dolphins' Dave Wannstedt, who is almost sure to get fired now that the Dolphins' playoff hopes are flickering just a tiny bit brighter than the Bills's are. It was sure fun seeing the Dolphins get blown out yesterday, though. They're starting December a little early, aren't they?

:: Because San Diego beat the Vikings, I expect the small chorus of Bills fans who have never gotten over the misbegotten idea that Doug Flutie might have brought the Bills a Super Bowl victory to start singing again. Thanks, Vikes.

:: The Jets' receiver Santana Moss had the best touchdown of the day when he caught the ball and got wrapped up by an Oakland defender, who tried to spin him to the ground but only succeeded in spinning him around a full 360 degrees and basically giving him a speed-boost toward the end zone. This was the best missed-tackle I've ever seen.

Finally, here are the current divisional leaders, with my original divisional picks in perentheses:

AFC East: New England (Buffalo)
AFC North: Baltimore (Pittsburgh)
AFC South: Tennessee (Tennessee)
AFC West: Kansas City (Kansas City)

NFC East: Dallas (Philadelphia)
NFC North: Minnesota (Green Bay)
NFC South: Carolina (Tampa Bay)
NFC West: St. Louis (San Francisco)

Two out of eight. Ugh. And my pick for Super Bowl champs, the Bucs, look unlikely to even make the playoffs. Oh well.

Recent History, revised.

(Warning: Politics Here)

I'd be a lot more confident about this whole Iraq thing if the various people in the Administration would say something like "Yeah, we were wrong in our expectations, but given the current problems here are our plans for getting things on track", as opposed to a whole lot of "Nope, we never said that"-type stuff.

Yes, you did say "Mission Accomplished".

Yes, you did say "They'll welcome us as liberators."

Yes, you did say "They pose an imminent threat."

Lord, I'm getting ever-so-tired of being told that the people whose operational policy is "Deny Everything" -- even stuff that can be looked up by anybody able to work the awesome technology that is Google -- are the ones who are "serious" about national security.

Diego?!

OK, I'm not doing any research here, so maybe I'm completely off-base. If I am, and anyone can set me straight, feel free to do so. Here's my question:

Why the hell does Dora the Explorer need a little boy named Diego to hang out with?!

Is this some kind of marketing thing, where some suits looking at numbers decided that not enough boys were watching Dora the Explorer and thus advocated the addition of a male character? If that's the case, then shame on them. God, I wish we'd get out of this "Everything is demographics and everything's a sales pitch" morass our culture has fallen into.

Yes, I'm focusing my anger about modern American society on a Saturday morning kid's show. Ya got a problem with that?

Classical Music: A Starting Point

A while back I was asked to provide some recommendations for people getting started in classical music, and I began by providing a "road-map" of sorts for your typical classical music section. And then, in my own indomitable fashion, I forgot about the whole thing.

Until now. [Insert rolling chords of portentous doom here]

The problem that comes up is mainly one of strategy. How should one enter the world of classical music? It's not that big a deal, really; there's nothing more daunting about making one's first real foray into classical music than there is about making one's first real foray into, say, poetry or sculpture or whatever else. But for some reason, a lot of times people take the wrong strategy for entrance, and thus classical music ends up overwhelming them. (Not unlike my high school's practice of tossing ninth-grade English students right into Shakespeare in the first two weeks of school. I've long been convinced that this practice more effectively kills any possible love of Shakespeare that might have otherwise developed.)

My own experience with classical music was fairly complicated: first of all, I loved film music long before I got into classical music in a big way, so I was at least passingly familiar with the ins-and-outs of an orchestra and the sound it makes. Also, my older sister was always into classical music as long as I can recall, so I was always hearing it in the next bedroom, even if I wasn't actively listening. And finally, I myself participated in the school band from fifth grade on, so I had some theoretical background in music before I got into classical in a big way. (This occurred roughly in ninth grade.)

So, I'm not sure how to present classical music to someone without similar background, someone whose exposure is significantly less than mine was at the time that I came to it. But for what it's worth, I tend to advocate not piling up collections of the "Old Warhorses" of the classical music literature in slapdash fashion, snatching up Beethoven and Bach and Mozart and Wagner just because they're, you know, the Old Warhorses. Instead I recommend that people begin their explorations with works heavy in both melody and drama and then branching out, often working backward. (And if you're really new to classical music, avoid any music described as "serial" or "atonal". Trust me. This kind of music is composed on a totally different set of assumptions from what you're used to, and you'll be right in the midst of "Shakespeare for thirteen year olds" again.)

So, I'd start with works like Rachmaninov's Symphonies and Piano Concertos; for the Symphonies, I would highly recommend Vladimir Achkenazy conducting the Concertgebouw Orchestra (which are helpfully available in a two-disc budget package, last time I checked). In fact, I'd recommend Ashkenazy in general with regards to Rachmaninov. With Rachmaninov, you get shimmering orchestrations, sweeping melodies, and a good healthy dose of brooding Slavic character. From Rachmaninov, one can then branch out into contemporary Russians: Scriabin and Prokofiev, definitely, and then Shostakovich.

Then, staying with Russians, go to Tchaikovsky and Rimsky-Korsakov. In the case of the latter, get a recording of Scherherazade. This is a spectacular symphonic suite inspired by The Arabian Nights, and its orchestration is guaranteed to amaze. Tchaikovsky is the greater of these two; here I'd recommend any (or all) of the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth symphonies, along with the Piano Concerto #1 (actually, this work is probably a bit overexposed, but it's a good way to find out what concertos are all about) and the ballets. Don't bother with the ballet suites, get the entire ballets. And if you must, get a recording of the 1812 Overture (make sure you get digital cannons), and the Capriccio Italien, although neither of these are favorites of mine.

That's probably a decent start for now. If you're like me in that your interest in classical music is fueled somewhat by an appreciation for film music, taking the "Russians First Approach" might be the best way to make the transition from film music (which tends to be all melody-and-drama) to music where form becomes more important. It's about training the ear to listen to the orchestra and to attend to longer forms of music than one is accustomed to, but with the emphasis on drama and melody typically in the Russian tradition, I think a newcomer might be a bit less "at sea" as they begin their explorations. Of course, one can't stay with Russians forever; sooner or later, a person exploring classical music must grapple with the Germanic tradition, which is by far the mightiest current in all of classical music. So that's where I'll try to go next time.

Must be the movies them kids is watchin' nowadays....

I don't read every review Roger Ebert writes, so I didn't initially check out his review of a film called Elephant, which is apparently inspired by the Columbine school shootings. But in the review, Ebert provides his own interesting rebuke to those who invariably want to blame such events on violent films. I'd be interested to see him develop his point farther. Or anyone, really.

(via This Century Sucks)

Thanks, Guys!

The Astronomy and Sky Gods evidently felt a bit of guilt for clouding up the Buffalo skies during the remarkable instances of aurora borealis a week ago, so they made up for it last night by shooing every cloud away during the total eclipse of the moon. Watching the black shadow start to slide over the Moon is always a thrilling experience, and each time I see an eclipse I wonder how the ancient civilizations reacted to it -- a normal moonlit night gradually going dark, and then light again.

Here, by the way, is a recent Astronomy Picture of the Day that shows an eclipsed moon in the infrared spectrum. Very cool.

New at GMR

I have two new reviews up at GMR this week: Caitlin R. Kiernan's novel Low Red Moon, and the album Somerset Sisters by Roots Quartet.

Wrath of the Northmen

Via Neil Gaiman I see that worship of Thor, Odin, Loki and all the rest of the Norse pantheon has been recognized as legitimate religious practice in Denmark. Upon receiving the news, residents of England's northeastern coast put new locks on all their doors.

Additionally, the Danish government has seized all documents and publications relating to this guy, on the basis that they are now religious relics.

In related news, representatives of Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins insisted that the author duo has no plans to write a series of turgid and boring books about Ragnarok.

I don't want to know where he keeps the ice.

Via Teresa Nielsen Hayden's Particles, I think I've discovered just where Kim Du Toit, leader of the South African Expatriates Testosterone Brigade, gets his interior decorating supplies....