The following humorous anecdote appeared in my Inbox this morning, and I would be remiss in my duties as a blogger if I did not inflict it upon all nine of my unwitting readers. So, without ado of any kind:
:: Two Pirates, Black Jack and Capt Blood, meet up unexpectedly in a Jamaican bar...
"Blood!" says Jack, "I haven't seen you since we graduated from pirate school. You're looking fantastic, what with the wooden leg, parrot, hook and eye patch. You must be one hell of a great pirate, man."
"I'll be honest," replies Blood. "Most of this stuff's just due to stupid accidents, I'm not really a great pirate at all. I lost the leg trying to tie my ship up to a mooring in Plymouth. I'm such a dumb ass that I got the rope wrapped round my leg and pulled the sucker clean off. The parrot was just left to me by my great Aunt who left it to me as one of the conditions of her will."
"What about the hook?" said Jack, "surely that's the result of some epic battle?"
"No," Blood sighed, "I lost the hand in the galley, helping to prepare vegetables for the crew. Nothing piratical, I'm afraid."
"Hells Bells, man" said Jack. "But you look every inch the perfect pirate. At least tell me that you lost the eye to a musket shot!"
The Capt gave his old friend a one-eyed look of weary resignation. "Ah, Jack. I lost that eye when I was walking the fore deck at sea, looking up at the top mast rigging, where my men were setting the mainsail. A seagull did a shit right in my eye."
"You were blinded by seagull shit?!" exclaimed Jack.
"Of course not, I just hadn't got used to having a hook yet....."
The persons responsible for the preceding have been sacked.
The personal blog of author Kelly Sedinger, chronicling the adventures of one overalls-clad wanderer.
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