Crap. I thought they said LON Cheney was visiting.

The Vice President of the United States, Dick Cheney, is visiting Buffalo today. Pictured below is his reaction after being informed that, in the wake of yesterday's disaster of a Bills game, all defibrilators in the greater Buffalo area have been found to be in working order:



Cheney indicated his disappointment that he won't be able to partake in Buffalo's signature culinary delicacy, chicken wings. But he further noted that he is not avoiding wings for the reason many would expect (his heart trouble). It's that he knows that his boss would likely insist on him bringing some back to the White House, and after that pretzel incident, the President is most definitely not to be entrusted with small chicken bones.

Further, Cheney is vigorously denying reports that are surfacing in French newspapers that his "undisclosed location" has also been used to house the Buffalo Bills' offense. But his veracity in this matter is suspect, given his continuing insinuation that the Bills' lack of scoring is somehow connected to Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda.