1. Bills will go 10-6. Maybe, maybe not for playoffs. Depends on rest of AFC. In division, will go 0-2 NE, 1-1 MIA, 2-0 NYJ.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 20152. Tyrod Taylor won't be GREAT, but he'll be good enough to keep Bills fans optimistic about his development.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 20153. Gilmore will be awesome except for one play a week. On basis of that single play, fans will call for his head.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 20154. Taylor will have three games that are downright bad. Fans will unironically call for signing Tim Tebow.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 20155. Peyton Manning will look more and more like a shadow of his former self. Tim Brady, alas, will not.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 20156. Terrible D in Pittsburgh will squander a really good offensive season. Steelers will aggressively address D in 2016 offseason.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 20157. The Jaguars will, all evidence to the contrary, continue to exist for reasons passing understanding.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 20158. Roger Goodell will publicly trip on his own shoelaces.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 20159. Fred Jackson will be sobbing on the field when he plays his first playoff game. It will be the season's best moment.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 201510. In a Voldemort-meets-Palpatine scenario, the Patriots beat the Cowboys in Super Bowl L. Nobody in Buffalo watches.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Over-under for "This team sucks and will always suck" columns by Jerry Sullivan: 4.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Over-under for times Bills fans will miss Kiko Alonso: Zero.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Over-under on innocent puppies consumed in the cavernous lair beneath Gillette Stadium: 42.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Flavor of pie Roger Goodell hits himself with in attempt to lighten mood: Mincemeat.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Opposing player who will horribly bungle a play late in Super Bowl L, guaranteeing Patriots win: Tony Romo.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Over-under on some drunk's antics at Ralph Wilson Stadium making national news: Eight.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Times per home game I'll be distracted from my writing by the crowd noise a mile away: 29.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Over-under on quality years left in Tom Brady's career: 22.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Pegulas will secretly refuse to push for new stadium until Brady's retirement, figuring, why bother?
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015After this season, Buffalo sports fandom will split into two camps: the Taylorites and the Eichelians. They will not trust each other.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015This concludes my NFL predictions for the 2015 season. Play ball, gentlemen!
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015Remember: I will be wrong about almost all of this. Except for Brady playing until he's 64, because that's happening. I've given up. The man will be here forever.
Go, Bills!
ReplyDeleteD'oh, Giants!
Sadly, I think you're right about Brady. We will be stuck with him for a long time. There's something else putting a bit of a damper on looking forward to his retirement though. One of the networks will almost certainly hire him as an "analyst" and then I will have to see him every week during football season.
ReplyDelete