I'm not putting MY lips there!

I don't usually blog about work, but this seems fairly harmless. In the back of our store, roughly in the middle of the Grocery area, we have a display spot that we always use for various promotions that are going on at any one time. Last month we had a NCAA Final Four-themed display, for instance. And right now, that small display area is devoted to various items that we carry whose manufacturers are doing promotional tie-ins with the impending release of Shrek the Third.

We always have special decorative signage for these displays. Some of these signs we make ourselves; others are provided by our vendors. Right now we have a giant inflatable Shrek hanging from the ceiling; this came from a vendor. When I say "giant", I mean, this thing is big. We're talking about seven feet tall. "Life-size", I suppose; Shrek always looks like a pretty big fellow in the movies.

Note that I said that Shrek is inflatable. Which means that he's made of that thick plastic that they make beach balls out of, and which also means that somewhere on his body is a little plastic valve and nozzle where one engages in the act of, well, blowing Shrek up.

And when they were manufacturing these giant inflatable Shreks, where do you suppose they located that little plastic valve? At the center of his posterior, obviously. So when we eventually deflate him, there's a good chance that our big Shrek will turn out to be a giant whoopee cushion.

I swear I am not making this up.