"Your half-assed underparenting is a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting."

My daughter was walking around with a flashlight for a time yesterday, just looking at stuff, and poking about in dark corners. I thought nothing of this until she said, "No blood out here."

Alarmed, I queried as to exactly what she was doing, and she tells me, "I'm pretending I'm a CSI!"

There really are times when I expect guys in jackboots to burst through my door and whisk my kid off to a less-demented household.