(You may need to click through to embiggen.)
I've written about eighteen dozen variants of this opening, which means that I'll almost certainly change it again. Openings drive me crazy. There needs to be something there, something to "grab", or so I'm told. Fact is, I don't remember ever putting a book aside on the basis that the opening sentence or paragraph didn't "grab" me. I always give books longer than that to start to work their magic on me. But a great opening is kind of magical, and when you can cast that spell that early in the proceedings, that's something special. That's why I always work hard on my openings, and why I'm almost always disappointed in how they turn out.
Anyway, opinions on this one?