I was charged with the task of acquiring candy for The Daughter's Easter basket, which was easy enough -- a box of those awful Peeps things, an egg-shaped plastic doodad filled with Hershey Kisses, and some jelly beans.
But not just any jelly beans, mind you. No, I had to indulge her enjoyment of All Things Harry Potter and get her the box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, which according to the box contain beans of flavors like grass, soap, bacon, rotten egg, vomit, and booger. "Never fear!" thought I. "I'm sure those are fake names for beans that taste like normal old jelly beans."
"Alas, ear wax!" Dumbledore said once when trying a bean. Alas, ear wax, indeed.