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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Making the Right sound Right!

I forgot that I meant to start doing this as a semi-regular feature: taking a far-Right blog entry, or excerpt thereof, and using Babelfish to make it sound either more or less crazy, depending on the hilarious results. Here's a bit from one of my favorite lunatics, Adam Yoshida.

Here's a bit from this post of his:

So, this is the situation with regard to the prisoners in Guantanamo:

1) They can’t be put on trial because, in most cases, they probably haven’t committed any crimes under American law and, in any case, it’s doubtful if the evidence collected would stand up to American criminal procedures (to begin with, I doubt if the Special Forces bothered to Mirandaize most of them).
2) They can’t be tried by Military Commission because the Supreme Court says they can’t.
3) They can’t be let go because, in most cases, they’d simply return to terrorism.

So, what is to be done with them? The answer is simple and elegant: kill them. Kill all of them.


Let's take that from English to French and then back again, shall we?

Thus, it is the situation with regard to the prisoners with Guantanamo:

1) they cannot be put on the test because, in the majority of the cases, they probably did not commit any crime under the terms of the American law and, in any event, it is doubtful if the obviousness gathered would be held until the American criminal procedures (to start with, I doubt if the worried special forces with Mirandaize more they).
2) they cannot be tested by Military Commission because the supreme court indicates that they cannot.
3) they cannot be left go because, in the majority of the cases, they would return simply to terrorism.

Thus, that must be made with them? The answer is simple and elegant: kill them. Kill all.


You know what? I like the translation better. It has this brutish quality that suits the Neanderthalic, "Ugh! Me Westerner, you not! Kill! Ugh!" logic behind all of Yoshida's thinking. Maybe Adam should use Babelfish thusly to prepare all of his posts before he publishes them!

(Thanks, of sorts, to Robert Tilendis for reminding me about good old Adam.)

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