Thursday, September 08, 2005

The Vanilla Life

Lynn officially tagged me with this. There's a noted quote by Robert A. Heinlein, that goes like this:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.


I'm supposed to tell which of those I've actually done. OK then:

Change a diaper: Well, duh.

Plan an invasion: Well, I've written about fictional characters planning invasions, so I'm counting this.

Butcher a hog, conn a ship: Nope.

Design a building: Well, I've "designed" dungeons and whatnot for AD&D campaigns in my youth. That counts.

Write a sonnet: Yup. It was a lousy sonnet, though. No, I don't have a copy, and no, I wouldn't post it here if I did. There's a reason why I won't post my Star Wars fanfic here, either.

Balance accounts: Yup. It's easy to do when you're working with single digits, though.

Build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying: Nope. I could figure out how to do all three, though.

Take orders: In more ways than one, actually. I've worked in restaurants, so I've taken orders in that context.

Give orders: I'm not sure if RAH meant this in the military context, but I've been in management before and have done this.

Cooperate, act alone: I do both of these on a daily basis.

Solve equations: Well, I took algebra and trig and calculus.

Analyze a new problem: What kind of "problem"? A math problem, or just a generic problem that crops up in the course of my day?

Pitch manure: Well, not specifically, but I'm counting it by virtue of my cleaning toilets at The Store.

Program a computer: Yes, writing programs like this counts:

10. PRINT "TOM BRADY IS A PANSY"
20. GOTO 10

Cook a tasty meal: You'd better believe I can do this!

Fight efficiently: Not sure what's meant here, actually. I don't really fight.

Die gallantly: Assuming that the characters I write about are some small piece of me, and further assuming that some of them have died gallantly, I am claiming this one.

Well, that was fun, I think. If anything, it further cements my view that RAH was kind of a weird fellow.

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