Thursday, February 26, 2004

Well done, Scotty!

There is one trick I've always employed in my various jobs, or at least tried to, that I'm not ashamed to report that I learned from Star Trek. It was well illustrated in the episode of The Next Generation when Scotty, the engineer from the Original Series, somehow gets preserved in time to the 24th century. He's bugging Geordi LaForge, the current Enterprise engineer, and Geordi finally says something like, "Mr. Scott, I'm sorry, but I have to get this job done for Captain Picard. I told him it would take an hour."

Scotty's eyes light up: "How long would it really take?"

Georgi looks at him like he's just sprouted a second head and replies, "About an hour."

And Scotty's look of joy turns to one of horror. "Oh, Laddie, you didn't tell him how long it would really take, did you? How do you expect to maintain your reputation as a miracle worker by telling people how long it will take to do things?"

See, Scotty's long-lived trick is to figure out how long a given task will take, and then multiply it by four. That way, when his superiors think they'll be waiting two hours for results, along comes Scotty in thirty minutes with the goods.

That's what I've been shamelessly doing at the store, and it's working like a charm.

Manager: "So, I need all these lights changed to higher-wattage bulbs and the spotlights redirected. I'm guessing that should take....oh, how long?"

Me, shrugging: "An hour or so, maybe....I should be able to get it done after lunch."

Manager: "Great!"

Cut to a short while later:

Manager: "So, you're going to go to lunch and then do that stuff with those lights?"

Me, nonchalantly: "Oh, that. Yeah, they're already done. I got some other stuff done, and that opened up some time, and you know how it is."

And I saunter on, looking for my next crisis. All in a day's work for us Supermarket Cleanup Guys.

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